My boss sent this video clip to me. It's pretty amazing.
<3
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Perspective
As I shared with many of you Tom and I had engagement pictures done last week. Our photographer is awesome for several reasons. Not only did she take some AMAZING pictures of us, but she made me feel beautiful! Talk about ego boost!
Anyway, I am posting because my sister sent me an e-mail that I felt compelled to share some of....
Anyway, I am posting because my sister sent me an e-mail that I felt compelled to share some of....
On a funnier note, I was at my local wine shop this evening picking up a bottle when I overheard the shop assistants (who are all related) talking about their bodies. One of the older women in the family was grabbing her belly and saying that she had rolls of fat around her stomach. Her younger brother was rubbing his belly like buddha and telling his niece that she was going to end up looking like him if she kept eating the chocolate she was munching on. It really struck me as funny because, in the US, all three of these people would be considered quite normal looking. Before I could offer my thoughts, the guy turned to me and said (roughly translated), "We're a bunch of nice-looking fatties, but you've lost so much weight recently!" I thought about saying something to the effect that, yes I had but there's still quite a bit I'd like to lose, especially when I saw that they considered themselves fat. Instead, I said, "Yes, I have but I wasn't fat, I was robust!" which all three of them got a big kick out of and responded with a chorus of "yeahs!". It's been instructive to me living in Italy that people in some ways seem to be even more obsessive about weight (and much more likely to point out someone else's weight gain!) than Americans, but in other ways it almost seems like it's a healthier attitude because they talk about it more honestly to the point that it's actually considered affectionate to call someone a "fatty." I have to say, it felt pretty good to make a joke about my weight issues rather than focusing on the fact that I still feel like I have a reasonably long road ahead of me.
I have always admired my sister. I am aware that she has a certain perspective of herself, however the last few visits we have had I have been WOW!!!ed by her progress and her new bod. You look awesome, T!
Just like a good photographer who knows how to find and make things beautiful, its all perspective. Sometimes just being able to see things from other peoples perspectives can shine a new light on how we view ourselves... even if it's only a glimpse.
Love.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
"I feel bee-you-tee-full"
My second job.
Most of the time I hate having a second job (mostly because I want the time back for myself) however there are days like today when it pays off. I have been working with this incredible young woman for almost 2 years now - 13 years ago she was in a terrible accident which left her with multiple disabilities.
Today when I got to her house she was in rare form. She grabbed me by my hand and said to me "I've been waiting to show you something" I am dragged into her room where she shows me a bottle of electric blue nail polish and she states "Isn't it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen." I am not so impressed with the nail polish but agree that it is pretty cool.
As she is the only woman in a house with 7 other men (and only male staff) she convinces me to help her apply the "most beautiful nail polish she has ever seen."
When we finish up, she looks at me with excitement and sincerity and says "I feel beeeeuuuutiful."
On my drive home I realized how much I take for granted. Here is a young woman who has all the reason in the world to be angry - and she thinks a small thing like blue nail polish makes her the most beautiful person on the planet.
God. I want that.
Every once in a while I am thanked by a client (or their staff/family) for "helping" but so often I am thankful for learning something from them.
I just needed to share.
Most of the time I hate having a second job (mostly because I want the time back for myself) however there are days like today when it pays off. I have been working with this incredible young woman for almost 2 years now - 13 years ago she was in a terrible accident which left her with multiple disabilities.
Today when I got to her house she was in rare form. She grabbed me by my hand and said to me "I've been waiting to show you something" I am dragged into her room where she shows me a bottle of electric blue nail polish and she states "Isn't it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen." I am not so impressed with the nail polish but agree that it is pretty cool.
As she is the only woman in a house with 7 other men (and only male staff) she convinces me to help her apply the "most beautiful nail polish she has ever seen."
When we finish up, she looks at me with excitement and sincerity and says "I feel beeeeuuuutiful."
On my drive home I realized how much I take for granted. Here is a young woman who has all the reason in the world to be angry - and she thinks a small thing like blue nail polish makes her the most beautiful person on the planet.
God. I want that.
Every once in a while I am thanked by a client (or their staff/family) for "helping" but so often I am thankful for learning something from them.
I just needed to share.
Why not eat your cake?
This http://http://anotherpieceofcake.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/for-once-im-siding-with-marie-claire is amazing.
This is one of the blogs that I follow. She doesn't talk about calories, or post pictures of her food. She writes responsibly and with cause. This is what I strive for.
*
I know in my previous posts I discussed my calorie intake and even posted pictures of what I was eating. Now I realize that it was obsessive, irresponsible and NOT healthy (in several ways).
One of the most difficult parts of my life over the past few years has been gaining more and more self awareness everyday. (I have been pretty blessed to have some amazing counselors, supervisors, mentors and friends who have helped me become aware of who I am - I would not have been able to do that on my own). However, with that self awareness comes accepting certain things about myself that I can't change, and realizing things about myself that I CAN'T STAND and now I am trying to figure out how to work on changing those things.
One of those things I can't stand is my relationship with food. The best way to describe it is love/hate. I love to eat and hate the feelings I have after I eat, be it the engorged feeling, the feelings of guilt....you get the point.
I want to be someone who doesn't have to think about it, who doesn't obsess over it. Someone who doesn't feel the need to micromanage every damn calorie that I put into my body. However, I also don't want to be the person that "gives up" and binges on an entire bag of Doritoes or eats 3 brownies for lunch, just because "I'll start my diet tomorrow." I just want to have a neutral relationship with food...I think.
Another thing is my body image. This is a work in progress. I am still trying to figure out how to work this one out.
Things I have been considering to help increase a good self image:
Joining a Goddess group.
Putting a ban on any and all fashion,"womens health" and all the other crap magazines out there that lead me to compare myself to a standard that is out-freaking-rageous.
Cutting myself off from the rest of the world so I have nothing else to compare myself to.
Also, I think in order for me to get a handle on a positive self image I need to STOP posting everything I eat in the day. I think that was counteractive to my ultimate goals, and will hopefully put off some of my obsessional food thoughts and habits.
My ultimate goals are still pretty much the same. I am adding a goal to decrease obsessional thoughts about food and numbers.
With that thought I am going back to creating the "Mantra Wall" for my office, and I will start practicing what I preach.
xoxo
Kate
This is one of the blogs that I follow. She doesn't talk about calories, or post pictures of her food. She writes responsibly and with cause. This is what I strive for.
*
I know in my previous posts I discussed my calorie intake and even posted pictures of what I was eating. Now I realize that it was obsessive, irresponsible and NOT healthy (in several ways).
One of the most difficult parts of my life over the past few years has been gaining more and more self awareness everyday. (I have been pretty blessed to have some amazing counselors, supervisors, mentors and friends who have helped me become aware of who I am - I would not have been able to do that on my own). However, with that self awareness comes accepting certain things about myself that I can't change, and realizing things about myself that I CAN'T STAND and now I am trying to figure out how to work on changing those things.
One of those things I can't stand is my relationship with food. The best way to describe it is love/hate. I love to eat and hate the feelings I have after I eat, be it the engorged feeling, the feelings of guilt....you get the point.
I want to be someone who doesn't have to think about it, who doesn't obsess over it. Someone who doesn't feel the need to micromanage every damn calorie that I put into my body. However, I also don't want to be the person that "gives up" and binges on an entire bag of Doritoes or eats 3 brownies for lunch, just because "I'll start my diet tomorrow." I just want to have a neutral relationship with food...I think.
Another thing is my body image. This is a work in progress. I am still trying to figure out how to work this one out.
Things I have been considering to help increase a good self image:
Joining a Goddess group.
Putting a ban on any and all fashion,"womens health" and all the other crap magazines out there that lead me to compare myself to a standard that is out-freaking-rageous.
Cutting myself off from the rest of the world so I have nothing else to compare myself to.
Also, I think in order for me to get a handle on a positive self image I need to STOP posting everything I eat in the day. I think that was counteractive to my ultimate goals, and will hopefully put off some of my obsessional food thoughts and habits.
My ultimate goals are still pretty much the same. I am adding a goal to decrease obsessional thoughts about food and numbers.
With that thought I am going back to creating the "Mantra Wall" for my office, and I will start practicing what I preach.
xoxo
Kate
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Guilty as charged
I am totally guilty of exactly this. A pal of mine posted this link on facebook and here I am now: writing in my blog at work. It spoke to me that much.
While I totally want to be "thin" and healthy I do NOT want to be what this article talks about.
I often worry about "borderline" eating disordered symptoms. I binge, I overexert myself, and I give up completely (which often means I eat two brownies for lunch). I have some food obsessions and often when I diet it can become pretty intense (Side note: this is, of course, all relative) which is concerning because that is NOT the type of inspiration I want to put off to other people.
I struggle with finding the balance. How do you do it?
*
I'm coming back to the blog. This was one of the few things that kept me grounded over the summer.
I need to work out my food issues, my body image issues and my weight loss issues. I plan on using this tool for myself.
I think when I started this blog, I was doing it not only for me but for others approval as well. That needs to stop.
As much as I love and appreciate all of my friends and family who read this, I need to put myself ahead of your approval. It's not to sound mean or rude, but I think too many women seek out others approval, especially when it comes to our bodies.
With that being said, I would still love the support. The links and the articles and the kind words are all appreciated.
Also, I can garuntee that I will still be hurt by peoples judgements, but I will work on being mindful that it is THEIR issue and not mine. However, I can also garuntee that I will still be humbled by all of the love and support you have all shown me.
I will let you know what I have been up to in a near future post.
With love,
Kate
While I totally want to be "thin" and healthy I do NOT want to be what this article talks about.
I often worry about "borderline" eating disordered symptoms. I binge, I overexert myself, and I give up completely (which often means I eat two brownies for lunch). I have some food obsessions and often when I diet it can become pretty intense (Side note: this is, of course, all relative) which is concerning because that is NOT the type of inspiration I want to put off to other people.
I struggle with finding the balance. How do you do it?
*
I'm coming back to the blog. This was one of the few things that kept me grounded over the summer.
I need to work out my food issues, my body image issues and my weight loss issues. I plan on using this tool for myself.
I think when I started this blog, I was doing it not only for me but for others approval as well. That needs to stop.
As much as I love and appreciate all of my friends and family who read this, I need to put myself ahead of your approval. It's not to sound mean or rude, but I think too many women seek out others approval, especially when it comes to our bodies.
With that being said, I would still love the support. The links and the articles and the kind words are all appreciated.
Also, I can garuntee that I will still be hurt by peoples judgements, but I will work on being mindful that it is THEIR issue and not mine. However, I can also garuntee that I will still be humbled by all of the love and support you have all shown me.
I will let you know what I have been up to in a near future post.
With love,
Kate
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Here
I'm still going. Wedding stuff has taken over my free time and a majority of our apartment space. Once things calm down and we get all the major things and people booked I will be back more regularly.
I made a kick-ass workout mix yesterday.
I have been waking up early...but not working out. I am hoping that I can get on that this week. Although a friend of mine may join my gym, which would be sweeeet!
<3
I made a kick-ass workout mix yesterday.
I have been waking up early...but not working out. I am hoping that I can get on that this week. Although a friend of mine may join my gym, which would be sweeeet!
<3
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thank God for girlfriends
I had a post all planned out for tonight - Cheeky, fun and diet related. Then, after an interesting day at work I decided to go out to dinner with a friend of mine and our conversation made me decide to write about my girlfriends.
While we were at dinner we were talking about people that we admire and some of the amazing women we work with. I realized that I don't tell my girlfriends (enough) how much I appreciate, admire and love them.
I hate to name names in my blog, especially when I don't give you a heads up, so watch out for your initials.
L.Z. - I am SO glad that I took the job at LPS. Not only has it been an interesting learning/working experience but it led me to you. You have listened to me gripe about nonsense and understood my anxiety. You allow me to wear my heart on my sleeve without judgment and I am so glad that we met. Thanks for the amazing conversation tonight!
J.W. - I have known you forever, and I think because of that I don't tell you often enough (if ever) that I am so proud of you. I totally admire you and all the hard work you do. Not only in your professional life, but with your running and your stamina and your desire to keep going. I know that sometimes things get tough for you (trying to juggle all the awesomeness that you do), but I think you are amazing and I look up to you. I also think its effing awesome when they out your picture in those newspapers. I love you!
S.C. - Man, am I so glad we became friends. You have been so grounding for me the past few years. I feel like you get me. I know that no matter what I say or do you will accept me for it. You have always been honest with me and you have always told me what I need to hear when its most needed. You are incredibly strong and you have some totally admirable qualities. I love you!
D.W. - You are amazing. For as long as I have known you you have supported me and helped me along all my life trials and tribulations. I know we joke, but I am so glad you are "so girly" it allows my inner giddy girl to come out when its needed. You have also been incredibly (above and beyond) supportive of this blog and the changes I have been trying to make, and I can't even express how much that means to me.
C.B. - I miss you like whoa. However, no matter the distance or how long we go without talking I know that I can pick up the phone and start off from where we left off. You have always looked out for me (even if it meant telling my mom on me and getting me in trouble) and I am so thankful to have such an amazing friend in you.
Seesters - I love you guys so much. I really could not have asked for cooler or better sisters. I know that no matter what I can always talk to you, about anything.
To all my Girlfriends - I am sorry that I did not single you out. But believe me I am thinking about you. I would not be who I am today and who I will grow into tomorrow without all of you. You have been my rocks, the loves of my life and most of all my amazing girlfriends.
Feeling overwhelmed by grateful-ness (if thats possible).
Love
-K
While we were at dinner we were talking about people that we admire and some of the amazing women we work with. I realized that I don't tell my girlfriends (enough) how much I appreciate, admire and love them.
I hate to name names in my blog, especially when I don't give you a heads up, so watch out for your initials.
L.Z. - I am SO glad that I took the job at LPS. Not only has it been an interesting learning/working experience but it led me to you. You have listened to me gripe about nonsense and understood my anxiety. You allow me to wear my heart on my sleeve without judgment and I am so glad that we met. Thanks for the amazing conversation tonight!
J.W. - I have known you forever, and I think because of that I don't tell you often enough (if ever) that I am so proud of you. I totally admire you and all the hard work you do. Not only in your professional life, but with your running and your stamina and your desire to keep going. I know that sometimes things get tough for you (trying to juggle all the awesomeness that you do), but I think you are amazing and I look up to you. I also think its effing awesome when they out your picture in those newspapers. I love you!
S.C. - Man, am I so glad we became friends. You have been so grounding for me the past few years. I feel like you get me. I know that no matter what I say or do you will accept me for it. You have always been honest with me and you have always told me what I need to hear when its most needed. You are incredibly strong and you have some totally admirable qualities. I love you!
D.W. - You are amazing. For as long as I have known you you have supported me and helped me along all my life trials and tribulations. I know we joke, but I am so glad you are "so girly" it allows my inner giddy girl to come out when its needed. You have also been incredibly (above and beyond) supportive of this blog and the changes I have been trying to make, and I can't even express how much that means to me.
C.B. - I miss you like whoa. However, no matter the distance or how long we go without talking I know that I can pick up the phone and start off from where we left off. You have always looked out for me (even if it meant telling my mom on me and getting me in trouble) and I am so thankful to have such an amazing friend in you.
Seesters - I love you guys so much. I really could not have asked for cooler or better sisters. I know that no matter what I can always talk to you, about anything.
To all my Girlfriends - I am sorry that I did not single you out. But believe me I am thinking about you. I would not be who I am today and who I will grow into tomorrow without all of you. You have been my rocks, the loves of my life and most of all my amazing girlfriends.
Feeling overwhelmed by grateful-ness (if thats possible).
Love
-K
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Rumbling
Ever notice that when you first start a diet you feel really hungry?
Yesterday was the first day of school. That means that I am waking up 3 hours earlier than I have been AND that means that eating breakfast 3 hours earlier. By the time I got to my last client of the day my stomach was doing flip flops.
My eating schedule is all messed up!!!
However, I am looking forward to the more structured day so I can actually have an eating schedule.
*
Anyway, my first day back to work and I had several comments made about my weight. Most of which went like this: "You look good, it looks like you kept off the weight"
Part of me was flattered, part of me was like What the f*ck?
It took me about an hour but really - I'm over it. Unfortunately, in my line of work I have gotten some pretty insensitive remarks if not down right rude. It's obviously their issue and not mine.
*
Moving on, I am hoping that I can become a morning exercise person. Due to the fact that I work 12 hours most days - by the time I get home my ass is drawn to the couch...not the bike. So I talked to the Gym teacher at school (he is a 5am runner) and he said that given time and a lot of motivation its easy and your body will adjust. So my plan is over the next week or so to try to get up a half hour earlier (to do at least half a p90x workout).
This is going to be a big challenge as I am NOT a morning person, but it will be my best shot at actually getting in some work.
I can do this.
So I guess I should go to bed if I am going to be an earlier riser.
Lots of love
-K
Yesterday was the first day of school. That means that I am waking up 3 hours earlier than I have been AND that means that eating breakfast 3 hours earlier. By the time I got to my last client of the day my stomach was doing flip flops.
My eating schedule is all messed up!!!
However, I am looking forward to the more structured day so I can actually have an eating schedule.
*
Anyway, my first day back to work and I had several comments made about my weight. Most of which went like this: "You look good, it looks like you kept off the weight"
Part of me was flattered, part of me was like What the f*ck?
It took me about an hour but really - I'm over it. Unfortunately, in my line of work I have gotten some pretty insensitive remarks if not down right rude. It's obviously their issue and not mine.
*
Moving on, I am hoping that I can become a morning exercise person. Due to the fact that I work 12 hours most days - by the time I get home my ass is drawn to the couch...not the bike. So I talked to the Gym teacher at school (he is a 5am runner) and he said that given time and a lot of motivation its easy and your body will adjust. So my plan is over the next week or so to try to get up a half hour earlier (to do at least half a p90x workout).
This is going to be a big challenge as I am NOT a morning person, but it will be my best shot at actually getting in some work.
I can do this.
So I guess I should go to bed if I am going to be an earlier riser.
Lots of love
-K
Friday, August 27, 2010
Motivating Factor
I just finished reading an e-mail from a really fabulous friend. She wrote in response to my lackluster blog (yesterday)... in fact her e-mail was so long that my blackberry couldn't support it so I had to go to my computer. Then I decided I should write.
I had a dream last night (and I love dream analyzing) about food. I was part of a competition to put together meals at a carnival that would be healthy and nutritious.
That pretty much sums up my life. I feel like I am competing with myself (on most days) to eat healthy and stay on track in a crazy carnival full of bad choices and unhealthy food.
Anyway, I am gearing up for a day full of meetings and a weekend of outings with my cousin (who is coming into town tonight). I am putting my game brain on. I feel good today, which usually helps me make good choices.
Catch ya on the flip side
-K
p.s. JWils I love you too! Thank you for the motivation!
These are two websites that my friend shared, I checked them out briefly but they seem really interesting(and motivating):
I had a dream last night (and I love dream analyzing) about food. I was part of a competition to put together meals at a carnival that would be healthy and nutritious.
That pretty much sums up my life. I feel like I am competing with myself (on most days) to eat healthy and stay on track in a crazy carnival full of bad choices and unhealthy food.
Anyway, I am gearing up for a day full of meetings and a weekend of outings with my cousin (who is coming into town tonight). I am putting my game brain on. I feel good today, which usually helps me make good choices.
Catch ya on the flip side
-K
p.s. JWils I love you too! Thank you for the motivation!
These are two websites that my friend shared, I checked them out briefly but they seem really interesting(and motivating):
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Trouble
This week has been busy. Between multiple venue appointments, crazy client visits, late night er visits and eye twitching that could make someone insane I have not taken good care of my own needs.
I am having a lot of trouble getting back on the band wagon.
I am struggling to get my head back in the game.
I need some motivation.
I went back and read some of my eariler posts. I need to find my way back to that place.
Any motivation tips?
*
School starts on Monday. A routine will hopefully help me. That's usually when I do my best. When I have the structure.
On a positive note: I did lose 8 pounds this summer. Despite the many celebrations and birthdays.
Much love
-K
I am having a lot of trouble getting back on the band wagon.
I am struggling to get my head back in the game.
I need some motivation.
I went back and read some of my eariler posts. I need to find my way back to that place.
Any motivation tips?
*
School starts on Monday. A routine will hopefully help me. That's usually when I do my best. When I have the structure.
On a positive note: I did lose 8 pounds this summer. Despite the many celebrations and birthdays.
Much love
-K
Monday, August 23, 2010
Certifiable
So we are officially Internationally Certified Scuba Divers! And my body is paying for it.
Apparently, my body is extremely positively buoyant. I needed to carry an extra 40 pounds of weight to get myself to sink. Not only did I need to have three people help me stand up once I got all my gear on, but I fell flat on my back when attempting to walk up the beach.
Naturally this has me thinking about my body and my weight. Fat floats, its less dense than water therefore creating a positively buoyant body. This does not make me feel so great about my body.
I also think I look terrible in a wet suit, all I could think was beached whale, beached whale!
This furthers my motivation to lose the poundage.
However, when I put on the first 20 pounds of weight (which is attached to a belt) all I could think about is: I used to weigh more that this (I used to carry almost 30 more pounds on my body) and this sucks. To carry the weight that I once carried (and thankfully, no longer do) did make me feel a lot better about the weight I have lost.
That is motivation to keep the poundage off.
*
I am going to enjoy my rainy day off.
-K
Apparently, my body is extremely positively buoyant. I needed to carry an extra 40 pounds of weight to get myself to sink. Not only did I need to have three people help me stand up once I got all my gear on, but I fell flat on my back when attempting to walk up the beach.
Naturally this has me thinking about my body and my weight. Fat floats, its less dense than water therefore creating a positively buoyant body. This does not make me feel so great about my body.
I also think I look terrible in a wet suit, all I could think was beached whale, beached whale!
This furthers my motivation to lose the poundage.
However, when I put on the first 20 pounds of weight (which is attached to a belt) all I could think about is: I used to weigh more that this (I used to carry almost 30 more pounds on my body) and this sucks. To carry the weight that I once carried (and thankfully, no longer do) did make me feel a lot better about the weight I have lost.
That is motivation to keep the poundage off.
*
I am going to enjoy my rainy day off.
-K
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Men: read with caution
I'm having one of those days. You know, the type where you crave chocolate all day long, go from crying to cursing someone out in .5 seconds and just want to go to bed.
Currently, I am someone most people want to avoid because they are not sure what this person will do in any given moment.
This week my dog got sick, got into a few arguments with loved ones, and today on my way to a clients house my car broke down...in the middle of an intersection. Needless to say I had what closely resembled a nervous breakdown sitting in my immobile vehicle while passerby's yelled, honked and told me I should move while not offering to help me move.
On top of it all I have some of the worst cramps I have had in ages and a headache that could crush a 500 pound man.
*
I just want to eat some chocolate.
So I will.
My wonderful fiance greeted me at the door when I finally arrived home with a hug and some chocolate. I won't gorge myself, I just really need to do it for myself, my cramps and some sanity.
I read an article this week about nurturing your bodies wants. That if you give it what it craves (in moderation) that you will find yourself more satisfied and more healthy. So today I am giving it what it wants. I had eggos for breakfast (the whole wheat special k ones that are like 70 calories each-yippee!) I got a skinny latte while shopping/laundering, ate some watermelon , had a pepper and moz salad for lunch and some pesto pasta with veggies for dinner. All very satisfying (even though the rest of my body is screaming, my tummy is happy) and all within my "limits." I gotta get back to eating more fruit and veggies - but since my car broke down before my supermarket trip - that may have to wait until I can actually get to the supermarket.
But here is to a better day. While the next few days are crazy (with a conference tomorrow, early morning scuba Saturday and a family party Sunday) I am going to give it all my effort to stay on top of myself.
I usually find it the hardest to come back after I have been off track for a while. These are the times that I have to work extra extra hard, and so I will try.
But for now, I am going to have my chocolate.
Love!
-K
Currently, I am someone most people want to avoid because they are not sure what this person will do in any given moment.
This week my dog got sick, got into a few arguments with loved ones, and today on my way to a clients house my car broke down...in the middle of an intersection. Needless to say I had what closely resembled a nervous breakdown sitting in my immobile vehicle while passerby's yelled, honked and told me I should move while not offering to help me move.
On top of it all I have some of the worst cramps I have had in ages and a headache that could crush a 500 pound man.
*
I just want to eat some chocolate.
So I will.
My wonderful fiance greeted me at the door when I finally arrived home with a hug and some chocolate. I won't gorge myself, I just really need to do it for myself, my cramps and some sanity.
I read an article this week about nurturing your bodies wants. That if you give it what it craves (in moderation) that you will find yourself more satisfied and more healthy. So today I am giving it what it wants. I had eggos for breakfast (the whole wheat special k ones that are like 70 calories each-yippee!) I got a skinny latte while shopping/laundering, ate some watermelon , had a pepper and moz salad for lunch and some pesto pasta with veggies for dinner. All very satisfying (even though the rest of my body is screaming, my tummy is happy) and all within my "limits." I gotta get back to eating more fruit and veggies - but since my car broke down before my supermarket trip - that may have to wait until I can actually get to the supermarket.
But here is to a better day. While the next few days are crazy (with a conference tomorrow, early morning scuba Saturday and a family party Sunday) I am going to give it all my effort to stay on top of myself.
I usually find it the hardest to come back after I have been off track for a while. These are the times that I have to work extra extra hard, and so I will try.
But for now, I am going to have my chocolate.
Love!
-K
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I'm baaack!
Phew! The past few weeks have put me into a tailspin.
I have had the most incredible (and busy) summer! With that said, a few things happened (and didn't happen) that I was not planning on. Which means that some of my goals were not quite met, but I am okay with that. Honestly.
I got two messages this morning saying that I needed to come back to the blog. So here I am. Getting myself back to where I want to be.
I did, unfortunately, gain 2 pounds in the last few weeks. Considering the amount of "fun" I have been engaging in I am okay with it.
My friend actually sent me quite the motivational e-mail. I have to give her props too. She did something that us "average" girls strive for and judge all the "skinny" girls for doing (out of jealousy). I am so proud of you!
She also told me that someone referred to me as "skinny" - HOW COOL! I love that. I know that its petty and silly, but it just feels so good when someone you don't know or just met calls you skinny. It feels good.
So I am going to continue to work on my goals, eat better, and exercise almost daily. AND blog consistently again.
Last week and a half of summer and I'm keeping it real! Ha.
Love,
-K
I have had the most incredible (and busy) summer! With that said, a few things happened (and didn't happen) that I was not planning on. Which means that some of my goals were not quite met, but I am okay with that. Honestly.
I got two messages this morning saying that I needed to come back to the blog. So here I am. Getting myself back to where I want to be.
I did, unfortunately, gain 2 pounds in the last few weeks. Considering the amount of "fun" I have been engaging in I am okay with it.
My friend actually sent me quite the motivational e-mail. I have to give her props too. She did something that us "average" girls strive for and judge all the "skinny" girls for doing (out of jealousy). I am so proud of you!
She also told me that someone referred to me as "skinny" - HOW COOL! I love that. I know that its petty and silly, but it just feels so good when someone you don't know or just met calls you skinny. It feels good.
So I am going to continue to work on my goals, eat better, and exercise almost daily. AND blog consistently again.
Last week and a half of summer and I'm keeping it real! Ha.
Love,
-K
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Missing in Action
I know that I have been away from my beloved blog for too long.
As hard as it is to admit..I must do it.
I have not been taking care of myself the way I want to or should be. As much as I want to blame the celebrations and the weekends away its all on me. I have to take full responsibility for being MIA with regards to my goals.
I need to take responsibility for putting my health to the way side and get back on track for real. I also (and this is the hard part) need to forgive myself and need to move past this.
This weekend I am, again, going to be away. However, my friend (who has been super supportive) promised lots of exercise to make up for any poor food and beverage choices made.
Starting next week I am promising to go back to blogging at least 4 times a week and going back to keeping track of everything that I put into my body.
Until then I am going to make better choices and get my head back in the game. After all I have a wedding to prepare for, and in the words of my awesome trainer I am "going to be one kick ass bride"!!!!!!!!
See you all on Monday!
Love
K
As hard as it is to admit..I must do it.
I have not been taking care of myself the way I want to or should be. As much as I want to blame the celebrations and the weekends away its all on me. I have to take full responsibility for being MIA with regards to my goals.
I need to take responsibility for putting my health to the way side and get back on track for real. I also (and this is the hard part) need to forgive myself and need to move past this.
This weekend I am, again, going to be away. However, my friend (who has been super supportive) promised lots of exercise to make up for any poor food and beverage choices made.
Starting next week I am promising to go back to blogging at least 4 times a week and going back to keeping track of everything that I put into my body.
Until then I am going to make better choices and get my head back in the game. After all I have a wedding to prepare for, and in the words of my awesome trainer I am "going to be one kick ass bride"!!!!!!!!
See you all on Monday!
Love
K
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Brain Mush
I have been on vacation mode for too long.
I need to get back on track.
I have been celebrating a lot the last week.
However, thanks to my new found motivation (thank you left hand ring) I will be reaching my goal soon.
Also, I want to thank you all for your continued love and support. It really means so much to me!!!!
Love
K
I need to get back on track.
I have been celebrating a lot the last week.
However, thanks to my new found motivation (thank you left hand ring) I will be reaching my goal soon.
Also, I want to thank you all for your continued love and support. It really means so much to me!!!!
Love
K
Saturday, August 7, 2010
The Proposal
I have had several requests for "the story" of the proposal. I don't want to put the whole thing on Facebook so I figure anyone who really wants to know it can find my blog and read it here.
Thursday was my 26th birthday. I had to work then went and got a drink with two of my friends. Tom had texted me asking what time I'd be home and I guessed somewhere around 430. I got home around 4 and he was all upset that I was home early and that my present had not arrived yet (via UPS) and that I needed to hide. I also was not allowed to go into the refrigerator. UPS guy shows up about 5 minutes later. I hear Tom rustling around to wrap the just arrived gift but when he is done he tells me that I can't open it until after dinner because "its a night time present." I don't put too much thought into it - as in my family we almost always opened gifts after dinner and cake.
I had told Tom that I wanted to go to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. There are 3 in the "area" one in Waltham (where we live) and 2 in the Boston area. Tom was asking (and in my opinion -though he disagrees- being a little pushy) if I wanted to go to the one in Boston. Me being logical thought it was silly to take the subway all the way into Boston just to eat, especially when the same place is right here in our town, and on top of that weather was forecasting rain - I did not want to get stuck walking around Boston in the rain. He relented, and agreed to go to the one in Waltham.
So we eat (and it was yummy) and towards the end of our meal Tom was talking about doing something after we ate. He mentioned the river walk (a nice serene walking site in town) and then said that we should go get a birthday drink. I, again, somewhat objected and said that I didn't really need to have a birthday drink and I was content with just having our nice dinner and going home. Tom, now beginning to act a little odd, said that he thought I deserved a birthday drink and that we were going to get one. Alright, I could get a cocktail. So we go have our drink and I am somewhat aware that he is acting funny (but if you know Tom, this could be for many reasons) I ignore it.
We go home and I sit on the couch to hang with Sasha, our dog. Tom asks me if I want my present - he hands me a box and a card. The box had a necklace in it with the infinity symbol, its pretty awesome, then he tells me that the present is actually two parts and that the other part is in the fridge and I need to close my eyes. So I am sitting on the couch with my eyes closed and I hear him clinking around and I think I bet its champagne -because we tend to drink it on holidays and special occasions.
He tells me I can open my eyes, and he is on one knee in front of me holding a ring* and I pretty much immediately start to cry as he asks me to marry him.
Sasha, sensing something is up, literally runs over and jumps into my lap making it really hard to hug and kiss Tom, so after shoving her out of the way (sorry pooch) I say YES and cry some more.
By the way, Tom did have Champagne ready for our celebration.
* The ring.
About a year ago Keri, my sister, came to visit us. We picked her up in Boston and went to Faneuil Hall and did some shopping. We went into one of my favorite little stores, Geoclassics, that specializes in precious and rare stone jewelry. I had pointed out to Tom a ring that I fell in love with- a round cut yellow sapphire with two diamond side stones.
Guess what ring he gave me. Yep, the exact ring I had pointed out to him more than a year ago.
It is all just so very perfect.
So needless to say this weekend we have not only been celebrating my birthday, but now an engagement! Talk about the ultimate motivator to get my butt in shape!
Lots of love,
Kate
Thursday was my 26th birthday. I had to work then went and got a drink with two of my friends. Tom had texted me asking what time I'd be home and I guessed somewhere around 430. I got home around 4 and he was all upset that I was home early and that my present had not arrived yet (via UPS) and that I needed to hide. I also was not allowed to go into the refrigerator. UPS guy shows up about 5 minutes later. I hear Tom rustling around to wrap the just arrived gift but when he is done he tells me that I can't open it until after dinner because "its a night time present." I don't put too much thought into it - as in my family we almost always opened gifts after dinner and cake.
I had told Tom that I wanted to go to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. There are 3 in the "area" one in Waltham (where we live) and 2 in the Boston area. Tom was asking (and in my opinion -though he disagrees- being a little pushy) if I wanted to go to the one in Boston. Me being logical thought it was silly to take the subway all the way into Boston just to eat, especially when the same place is right here in our town, and on top of that weather was forecasting rain - I did not want to get stuck walking around Boston in the rain. He relented, and agreed to go to the one in Waltham.
So we eat (and it was yummy) and towards the end of our meal Tom was talking about doing something after we ate. He mentioned the river walk (a nice serene walking site in town) and then said that we should go get a birthday drink. I, again, somewhat objected and said that I didn't really need to have a birthday drink and I was content with just having our nice dinner and going home. Tom, now beginning to act a little odd, said that he thought I deserved a birthday drink and that we were going to get one. Alright, I could get a cocktail. So we go have our drink and I am somewhat aware that he is acting funny (but if you know Tom, this could be for many reasons) I ignore it.
We go home and I sit on the couch to hang with Sasha, our dog. Tom asks me if I want my present - he hands me a box and a card. The box had a necklace in it with the infinity symbol, its pretty awesome, then he tells me that the present is actually two parts and that the other part is in the fridge and I need to close my eyes. So I am sitting on the couch with my eyes closed and I hear him clinking around and I think I bet its champagne -because we tend to drink it on holidays and special occasions.
He tells me I can open my eyes, and he is on one knee in front of me holding a ring* and I pretty much immediately start to cry as he asks me to marry him.
Sasha, sensing something is up, literally runs over and jumps into my lap making it really hard to hug and kiss Tom, so after shoving her out of the way (sorry pooch) I say YES and cry some more.
By the way, Tom did have Champagne ready for our celebration.
* The ring.
About a year ago Keri, my sister, came to visit us. We picked her up in Boston and went to Faneuil Hall and did some shopping. We went into one of my favorite little stores, Geoclassics, that specializes in precious and rare stone jewelry. I had pointed out to Tom a ring that I fell in love with- a round cut yellow sapphire with two diamond side stones.
Guess what ring he gave me. Yep, the exact ring I had pointed out to him more than a year ago.
It is all just so very perfect.
So needless to say this weekend we have not only been celebrating my birthday, but now an engagement! Talk about the ultimate motivator to get my butt in shape!
Lots of love,
Kate
Thursday, August 5, 2010
26 years
Thank you to all my friends and family who sent me birthday love.
I love you all so much!
So far I have had a fantastic day. Thanks, much in part, to all of you!
Love
-K
I love you all so much!
So far I have had a fantastic day. Thanks, much in part, to all of you!
Love
-K
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Amazing
Yesterday was a really tough day for me. I can't really explain why other than just having a really self defeating kind of day.
I want to take this time to thank all my amazing friends and family who, after yesterdays post, have given me all the love and support (plus a whole lot more) that has helped me have a better day today. Even more - all of you reminded me to keep my head up and you sent your love out to me. In fact you did that so well that today I am radiating with all of your positive feedback.
For that reason alone, I am SO glad that I created this blog. Without putting my own bad mood on this blog I would never have received the love and support (that was so desperately needed) from all of the people who matter to me the most. I am pretty certain, knowing my track record, that had I not gotten the support from you I would have fallen completely off the wagon. I would let this week defeat me.
A good friend reminded me today that enjoying a week like this in an indulgence, and having an indulgence is okay as long as you don't overindulge. I like that sentiment. Making choices that are good/okay/better for me (but may not be the best) and enjoying them, so long as I have an end date to this indulgence - Sunday.
I also need to accept that this is going to happen to me from time to time and that I will need to work with the consequences, even if its a weight gain.
I gripped to my trainer last night about my bad attitude and my lack of exercise and poor food choices. He simply responded: "It will all come back to you, you just need to make it happen." Make it happen, Kate. So that's what I am going to have to do.
Tonight we are going to a Bistro in town. I looked at the menu and picked out a few things that will be good choices (of course they are the more pricey ones) and I will pick between those few things.
As for tomorrow.. I already know what I am eating so I just have to plan the rest of my day around that.
Again, thank you all so much. I could not do this without you. I love you.
I am ending with this quasi-quote of the day. Its from an e-mail that a (male) friend of mine sent me and brought a tear to my eye, it was very much appreciated.
I want to take this time to thank all my amazing friends and family who, after yesterdays post, have given me all the love and support (plus a whole lot more) that has helped me have a better day today. Even more - all of you reminded me to keep my head up and you sent your love out to me. In fact you did that so well that today I am radiating with all of your positive feedback.
For that reason alone, I am SO glad that I created this blog. Without putting my own bad mood on this blog I would never have received the love and support (that was so desperately needed) from all of the people who matter to me the most. I am pretty certain, knowing my track record, that had I not gotten the support from you I would have fallen completely off the wagon. I would let this week defeat me.
A good friend reminded me today that enjoying a week like this in an indulgence, and having an indulgence is okay as long as you don't overindulge. I like that sentiment. Making choices that are good/okay/better for me (but may not be the best) and enjoying them, so long as I have an end date to this indulgence - Sunday.
I also need to accept that this is going to happen to me from time to time and that I will need to work with the consequences, even if its a weight gain.
I gripped to my trainer last night about my bad attitude and my lack of exercise and poor food choices. He simply responded: "It will all come back to you, you just need to make it happen." Make it happen, Kate. So that's what I am going to have to do.
Tonight we are going to a Bistro in town. I looked at the menu and picked out a few things that will be good choices (of course they are the more pricey ones) and I will pick between those few things.
As for tomorrow.. I already know what I am eating so I just have to plan the rest of my day around that.
Again, thank you all so much. I could not do this without you. I love you.
I am ending with this quasi-quote of the day. Its from an e-mail that a (male) friend of mine sent me and brought a tear to my eye, it was very much appreciated.
"I also wanted to tell you something that more men should tell women: you are enough just the way you are, you are loved, and no matter what shape and size you decide is best for you you're perfect in my book. You are a radiant joy and I miss being around you."
Love
-K
-K
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
optimism will be left at the door
Woof.
That is how I feel today.
That is how I feel like I look today.
I had a fun weekend. We went to NH with some friends and ate and drank, a lot. Then I went to Provincetown with 2 of my best friends and continued to eat and eat. On top of that - Today a client of mine decided that she needed to feed me chicken and cake for my birthday.
After all this eating and drinking...I feel gross. I have not worked out in 5 days and I feel it.
I am feeling quite anxious about the next few days too. Tomorrow is second family celebration, Thursday is my actual birthday then Friday we leave to go back to New York. Enter more food and drink.
As much as I planned for this to happen, I still was not ready for it.
I have training tonight and plan on busting my butt then spending a bunch of time at the gym/p90x-ing it tomorrow.
Today I am feeling pretty negative. Tomorrow will be better (hopefully).
Love.
-K
That is how I feel today.
That is how I feel like I look today.
I had a fun weekend. We went to NH with some friends and ate and drank, a lot. Then I went to Provincetown with 2 of my best friends and continued to eat and eat. On top of that - Today a client of mine decided that she needed to feed me chicken and cake for my birthday.
After all this eating and drinking...I feel gross. I have not worked out in 5 days and I feel it.
I am feeling quite anxious about the next few days too. Tomorrow is second family celebration, Thursday is my actual birthday then Friday we leave to go back to New York. Enter more food and drink.
As much as I planned for this to happen, I still was not ready for it.
I have training tonight and plan on busting my butt then spending a bunch of time at the gym/p90x-ing it tomorrow.
Today I am feeling pretty negative. Tomorrow will be better (hopefully).
Love.
-K
Friday, July 30, 2010
Loser
160! Down 10 pounds! Yesssss!!
One of the coolest parts so far? I actually, for the first time in my life, have the resemblance of a muscle. COOL.
*
I am planning for our weekend. Since we are staying at a friends lake house I will be able to control a majority of what goes into my body. Tom just cut up a huge watermelon that I plan on bringing, along with some cantaloupe and fat free hot dogs.
And I plan on swimming and kayaking. I love to kayak or canoe, it's so fun!
Okay, we are out of here.
Catch ya on the flip side!
-K
One of the coolest parts so far? I actually, for the first time in my life, have the resemblance of a muscle. COOL.
*
I am planning for our weekend. Since we are staying at a friends lake house I will be able to control a majority of what goes into my body. Tom just cut up a huge watermelon that I plan on bringing, along with some cantaloupe and fat free hot dogs.
And I plan on swimming and kayaking. I love to kayak or canoe, it's so fun!
Okay, we are out of here.
Catch ya on the flip side!
-K
Thursday, July 29, 2010
That is my little black bikini. You know, the one that I swore I would have the guts to wear in public by the end of the summer.
I realized today that I have one month left to get my ass to the pool wearing that thing. Then I got an e-mail from sparkpeople.com with an article written by a woman who is morbidly obese and does aquatic classes for exercise. She wrote that she often gets asked how she could possibly be comfortable wearing a bathing suit with her body. Her answer was: No one cares. She isn't even on other peoples radar.
Naturally, I started to think about all the people that I have seen at the beach or the pool. I know for a fact that I have definitely "eyed" people on the beach, took in their size and shape. I can not remember a single image or person or body size...there is no one that has stuck to my brain. Not a fat person, not a skinny person and not even a "regular" sized person.
I tend to make assumptions that most people have similar thought processes to me. I am pretty regular. I make my judgments and move on. At the end of the day I don't care about any of those people that I saw at the beach. So why would I assume that any of them give a crap about me and what I look like? Sure they will make their snap judgments, but they will forget about me in 5 minutes.
No one cares.
Sometime very soon I will be strutting all my stuff (wobbly bits and all) down at the pool in my little black bikini.
This is a shirt that I have had for four years. It's also how I feel today.
This is Sasha modeling one of my hair clip creations. She is a gorgeous model.Today I got a message with regards to my previous post. It was awesome. I plan on sharing it very soon.
Tom and I are going to New Hampshire this weekend, which means that I probably won't be blogging for a few days.
Love!
-K
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I can relate
One of the (many) good things about my sisters is that I can wear my heart on my sleeve without feeling like I will be judged (or that it will cause an issue). This often leads to some quality discussions and a lot of I can relate to that!
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
Monday, July 26, 2010
Savor the flavor
I had a fabulous weekend!
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Many thanks and a plea
Since I have started this blog I have received several e-mails, texts, phone calls etc. from friends and family and even people I do not have a "relationship" with telling me how inspired they have been by reading my blog.
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wordless
I wish I could write everyday. While I am often busy, its usually not because I don't have the 20 minutes to blog. Often, when I don't write it's because I don't know what to say. I don't write because little left me feeling inspired by the end of the day.
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Weight and Measurements
Today was weigh in day and we took my measurements.
I am excited to report:
Current weight: 161 -down 9 pounds! I have officially lost 5% of my weight!
Arms: 11' - down 1/2 inch and I have some muscles to show for it!
Waist: 28' - down 2 inches
Bust: 35' - down 1 inch
Thigh: somewhere between 23 3/4' to 25' because we couldn't remember where on my thigh we measured - down somewhere between 1 to 2 1/4 inch
Hips: 37 1/4' - down 4 3/4 inches
WOOT!
I notice the differences, I feel better and (most of the time) I feel good.
Again I want to thank everyone for your continued support and love. You have all been so amazing, and somehow the love always comes when it is needed the most.
Love,
-K
I am excited to report:
Current weight: 161 -down 9 pounds! I have officially lost 5% of my weight!
Arms: 11' - down 1/2 inch and I have some muscles to show for it!
Waist: 28' - down 2 inches
Bust: 35' - down 1 inch
Thigh: somewhere between 23 3/4' to 25' because we couldn't remember where on my thigh we measured - down somewhere between 1 to 2 1/4 inch
Hips: 37 1/4' - down 4 3/4 inches
WOOT!
I notice the differences, I feel better and (most of the time) I feel good.
Again I want to thank everyone for your continued support and love. You have all been so amazing, and somehow the love always comes when it is needed the most.
Love,
-K
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Scuba to Aruba
This week Tom and I began scuba lessons. I am giving it its own post because after last night's class I left feeling exhausted, HUNGRY and thinking about a few thing things.
I did a little research: On average, scuba burns about 8 calories a minute. Last night we were in the pool for about 90 minutes-we were probably only scuba-ing for about 60- therefore we burned 480 calories! Not to mention getting the flipping full body wet suit on...that must have burned an extra 50! No wonder I was so hungry!
One of the things that several of the magazines and gurus offer as "weight loss tips" is that when your trying to lose weight you should have fun. Scuba is exciting, interesting and (yes) a little dangerous. But, it's also fun! I enjoy doing it.
I won't be doing this weekly once the course is over, but its good to know that it can be considered somewhat of a workout. And I like it-gasp!
Another thing that happened last night was when the women were getting fitted for their wetsuits. The suits came in five sizes the extra small (being a 4) to extra large (being a 12). So, the women go up and take a guess (or the instructor told you) as to what size they will need- I guessed I would need a large (or a 10). Then this girl who I perceived as being the same exact size as me went up after me and said I need a 12. Naturally, I thought either she was crazy OR that I was totally underestimating my own size. After squeezing my body into the wetsuit and going back to the instructor for a size check I thought for sure he was going to tell me that I needed the 12. Nope. He said "perfect fit!" Then he told the other girl (12) that her's was a perfect fit too! What?!?
It got me thinking. How off is my own body perception? How skewed is my thought about what my body looks like? Especially when I compare myself to other women?
I remember watching the show How to Look Good Naked (the one with Carson Kressley) and this exercise he did with one of the women. He brought in a handful of women with many different body types and put them in a line up. He then asked the woman to look at all the women and place herself next to the woman with the same or similar body type. She placed herself next to a woman that was actually quite larger than she was.
The point being that her perception was waaayyy off. I wonder if mine is too.
I would like to think that I am pretty aware of my body and what it looks like, but I am not so sure. I need to work on that.
Quote of the day: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Shout out: goes to Scuba divers across the world
P90x Cardio and What I ate:
Cheerios with milk
apple
carrots with hummus
chicken enchilada
100 cal doritos
banana
almonds
2 fat free hot dogs
watermelon
Much love!
-K
I did a little research: On average, scuba burns about 8 calories a minute. Last night we were in the pool for about 90 minutes-we were probably only scuba-ing for about 60- therefore we burned 480 calories! Not to mention getting the flipping full body wet suit on...that must have burned an extra 50! No wonder I was so hungry!
One of the things that several of the magazines and gurus offer as "weight loss tips" is that when your trying to lose weight you should have fun. Scuba is exciting, interesting and (yes) a little dangerous. But, it's also fun! I enjoy doing it.
I won't be doing this weekly once the course is over, but its good to know that it can be considered somewhat of a workout. And I like it-gasp!
Another thing that happened last night was when the women were getting fitted for their wetsuits. The suits came in five sizes the extra small (being a 4) to extra large (being a 12). So, the women go up and take a guess (or the instructor told you) as to what size they will need- I guessed I would need a large (or a 10). Then this girl who I perceived as being the same exact size as me went up after me and said I need a 12. Naturally, I thought either she was crazy OR that I was totally underestimating my own size. After squeezing my body into the wetsuit and going back to the instructor for a size check I thought for sure he was going to tell me that I needed the 12. Nope. He said "perfect fit!" Then he told the other girl (12) that her's was a perfect fit too! What?!?
It got me thinking. How off is my own body perception? How skewed is my thought about what my body looks like? Especially when I compare myself to other women?
I remember watching the show How to Look Good Naked (the one with Carson Kressley) and this exercise he did with one of the women. He brought in a handful of women with many different body types and put them in a line up. He then asked the woman to look at all the women and place herself next to the woman with the same or similar body type. She placed herself next to a woman that was actually quite larger than she was.
The point being that her perception was waaayyy off. I wonder if mine is too.
I would like to think that I am pretty aware of my body and what it looks like, but I am not so sure. I need to work on that.
Quote of the day: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Shout out: goes to Scuba divers across the world
P90x Cardio and What I ate:
Cheerios with milk
apple
carrots with hummus
chicken enchilada
100 cal doritos
banana
almonds
2 fat free hot dogs
watermelon
Much love!
-K
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Inspiration
I wanted to included this in my post yesterday, but I wanted to ask the Author's permission first.
A wonderful woman (I met while working in a clinic) writes a blog about her health/body/body image and past struggles. I have been following her blog for a while now and I think she is truly inspiring. She has be able to work on her own stuff and has found a "good place" that one day I hope to be in. She writes with honesty and humor and so often I have read her posts and been like "I totally get that" and sometimes I read in awe that she has been working so hard to accept who she is and continues to maintain her health. I even love the blog URL -anotherpieceofcake. How awesome. Anyway, I urge you to check her out.
I don't want to give away her history or what she is about but one post in particular spoke to me. She spoke about learning how to eat "healthy portions" without measuring (or obsessing) and figuring out what her Ideal Body Weight (IBW) actually is vs what she wanted it to be.
That is SO where I want to be.
I am very resistant to measuring my food, because when I am not at home, I don't have control over 1 cup of cereal or 3 oz of meat - PLUS who wants to measure all of their food? Thats just a pain in the ass. BUT if I can learn to "eyeball" a healthy portion then I won't have to worry about always washing my measuring cups and I can be successful outside of my home.
Also, as I stated, I know that I can not maintain a weight below 145. I am 5'8. I have got HIPS. There is no way that any weight below that is realistic. Sure I wouldn't mind being a size 4 and super svelte, but I will be more than content being a size 8-10 and fit (and probably about 150).
However, this whole above statement brings me to an issue I have been internalizing and struggling with along my journey. Why am I so obsessed with that number on the scale? Why are all my issues with numbers? My weight, my measurements, the number of push-ups I can do...its all so irritating.
But I am hoping that when I can learn to master all of these skills (and they are all skills one learns) I can really begin to work on myself and my perception of myself and be less obsessive about the numbers and the measurements.
Today's Quote of the day comes from this so inspiring blog that I speak of: "If you treat it well, your body will find its equilibrium. It will reside at a healthy weight."
Shout out: goes to all the girls and boys out there who can totally relate.
Back on track today:
Cereal with milk
Banana
Apple
Carrots with hummus
Queso wrap
granola bar
Chicken
Corn on the cob
stuffing (yes!)
Watermelon
Much love
-K
A wonderful woman (I met while working in a clinic) writes a blog about her health/body/body image and past struggles. I have been following her blog for a while now and I think she is truly inspiring. She has be able to work on her own stuff and has found a "good place" that one day I hope to be in. She writes with honesty and humor and so often I have read her posts and been like "I totally get that" and sometimes I read in awe that she has been working so hard to accept who she is and continues to maintain her health. I even love the blog URL -anotherpieceofcake. How awesome. Anyway, I urge you to check her out.
I don't want to give away her history or what she is about but one post in particular spoke to me. She spoke about learning how to eat "healthy portions" without measuring (or obsessing) and figuring out what her Ideal Body Weight (IBW) actually is vs what she wanted it to be.
That is SO where I want to be.
I am very resistant to measuring my food, because when I am not at home, I don't have control over 1 cup of cereal or 3 oz of meat - PLUS who wants to measure all of their food? Thats just a pain in the ass. BUT if I can learn to "eyeball" a healthy portion then I won't have to worry about always washing my measuring cups and I can be successful outside of my home.
Also, as I stated, I know that I can not maintain a weight below 145. I am 5'8. I have got HIPS. There is no way that any weight below that is realistic. Sure I wouldn't mind being a size 4 and super svelte, but I will be more than content being a size 8-10 and fit (and probably about 150).
However, this whole above statement brings me to an issue I have been internalizing and struggling with along my journey. Why am I so obsessed with that number on the scale? Why are all my issues with numbers? My weight, my measurements, the number of push-ups I can do...its all so irritating.
But I am hoping that when I can learn to master all of these skills (and they are all skills one learns) I can really begin to work on myself and my perception of myself and be less obsessive about the numbers and the measurements.
Today's Quote of the day comes from this so inspiring blog that I speak of: "If you treat it well, your body will find its equilibrium. It will reside at a healthy weight."
Shout out: goes to all the girls and boys out there who can totally relate.
Back on track today:
Cereal with milk
Banana
Apple
Carrots with hummus
Queso wrap
granola bar
Chicken
Corn on the cob
stuffing (yes!)
Watermelon
Much love
-K
Monday, July 12, 2010
Heaven on a plate
This past weekend is going to be kissed up to God but what a fantastic weekend!
As I mentioned Tom and I went to NY to celebrate my sisters 21st birthday.
The weekend was especially awesome because I got to spend time with my entire family. All of us in one place! We drank a lot of good beer and excellent wine (I reccommend Layer Cake Malbec-YUM!) and the food... Oh. My. God. we ate some amazing food.
I have to talk about the food. We went to The Stanton Station, which was designed as a tapas bar serving style, and I think we ate almost everything on the menu. I can't even list what we ate because we had so many things, but if any of you ever find yourself in the East Village you MUST try this place and order the French Onion Soup Dumplings and the Chicken Cashew Spring Rolls. SO YUMMY and the inspiration for this blog title.
Anyway, as I stated I wasn't going to expect miracles this weekend and my goal was to maintain. Honestly, I have not gotten on the scale yet - mostly out of fear - but starting now I am getting back on track.
On my ride home this morning I was starting to feel guilty about my indulgent weekend. Real self defeating talk. However, when I got home and checked my facebook there was a message waiting for me from this fabulous woman, KS. I took out some of your personal notes (as some of us may not want all our business out there) But she wrote:
Shout out goes to KS for...well everything you did for yourself and what you did for me today!
Scuba starts today!
Making up for some missed exercise tomorrow!
Love!
-K
As I mentioned Tom and I went to NY to celebrate my sisters 21st birthday.
The weekend was especially awesome because I got to spend time with my entire family. All of us in one place! We drank a lot of good beer and excellent wine (I reccommend Layer Cake Malbec-YUM!) and the food... Oh. My. God. we ate some amazing food.
I have to talk about the food. We went to The Stanton Station, which was designed as a tapas bar serving style, and I think we ate almost everything on the menu. I can't even list what we ate because we had so many things, but if any of you ever find yourself in the East Village you MUST try this place and order the French Onion Soup Dumplings and the Chicken Cashew Spring Rolls. SO YUMMY and the inspiration for this blog title.
Anyway, as I stated I wasn't going to expect miracles this weekend and my goal was to maintain. Honestly, I have not gotten on the scale yet - mostly out of fear - but starting now I am getting back on track.
On my ride home this morning I was starting to feel guilty about my indulgent weekend. Real self defeating talk. However, when I got home and checked my facebook there was a message waiting for me from this fabulous woman, KS. I took out some of your personal notes (as some of us may not want all our business out there) But she wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I'm one of your silent blog readers and wanted you to know that you are absolutely inspiring!....and reading your blog every day has seriously helped me to stay motivated.... you have really helped to put this all into perspective so I want to thank you. You've made me reflect on the journey so far and have reminded me not to get down on myself...but rather to pat myself on the back and give myself a break. This is hard work and we deserve to relish in the moment rather than stress over the future....I hope you're SUPER proud of yourself for setting such awesome realistic goals and for really changing the way you feel about yourself. You are one awesome lady!
Also, KS has been working on her own journey and has made some major accomplishments - so congrats on your own successes and keep up all your hard work! From your pictures (and what JW tells me) you look awesome!This was just...so grounding and helpful. It's like it came at the perfect time for me to not our get down on myself (for a weekend I planned!) and to get back on the horse. Thank you KS!
Shout out goes to KS for...well everything you did for yourself and what you did for me today!
Scuba starts today!
Making up for some missed exercise tomorrow!
Love!
-K
Friday, July 9, 2010
Where has the logic gone?
Today Tom and I watched a documentary called, Bigger, Stronger, Faster: The Side Effect of Being American. It's about steroid use in America. It was pretty interesting, but I think what I found most interesting was they way the individuals who used Steroids justified their use.
Several of them stated that everyone does it (in their field of athleticism), that they couldn't lift 800 pounds (GOD FORBID) if they didn't, you get a better workout while on them and the best one that so many of our heroes and world leaders "cheat" so why not?
I couldn't help but think where is the logic? Really? How can you justify putting an unnatural substance (not to mention illegal) into your body to look like this? This is Greg Valentino (he makes me want to vomit) his biceps are 27 inches -Hulk Hogan's were 24 inches in his hay day- and he (well they both did) uses Roids like they are going out of style.
I personally find this look appalling, and I don't know of a single person who finds this look appealing. Even more so the logic...I just don't get it.
Consider me stupefied.
*
On a completely different note I had a grounding moment today. I had to go into Boston today for an appointment. I out on my cute sleeveless black dress, wore a flower in my hair and just felt pretty good. As I was walking down the street feeling all confident about myself and just as I was thinking to myself Man, I feel good - I tripped. Yup. Over my own feet, in front of a bunch of strangers. When I collected myself I couldn't help but think That's what you get for feeling good about yourself. It just pissed me off.
*
Anyway, we are going to NYC to celebrate Keri turning 21 so I won't be back until Monday or Tuesday. My goal was to maintain, so I won't be eating garbage, but I am allowing myself some alcohol and some good NY food. I will let you know how it goes.
Shout out goes to Keri!!!! HAPPY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love
-K
Several of them stated that everyone does it (in their field of athleticism), that they couldn't lift 800 pounds (GOD FORBID) if they didn't, you get a better workout while on them and the best one that so many of our heroes and world leaders "cheat" so why not?
I couldn't help but think where is the logic? Really? How can you justify putting an unnatural substance (not to mention illegal) into your body to look like this? This is Greg Valentino (he makes me want to vomit) his biceps are 27 inches -Hulk Hogan's were 24 inches in his hay day- and he (well they both did) uses Roids like they are going out of style.
I personally find this look appalling, and I don't know of a single person who finds this look appealing. Even more so the logic...I just don't get it.
Consider me stupefied.
*
On a completely different note I had a grounding moment today. I had to go into Boston today for an appointment. I out on my cute sleeveless black dress, wore a flower in my hair and just felt pretty good. As I was walking down the street feeling all confident about myself and just as I was thinking to myself Man, I feel good - I tripped. Yup. Over my own feet, in front of a bunch of strangers. When I collected myself I couldn't help but think That's what you get for feeling good about yourself. It just pissed me off.
*
Anyway, we are going to NYC to celebrate Keri turning 21 so I won't be back until Monday or Tuesday. My goal was to maintain, so I won't be eating garbage, but I am allowing myself some alcohol and some good NY food. I will let you know how it goes.
Shout out goes to Keri!!!! HAPPY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love
-K
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Can I tell you something?
Today I had a friend contact me to talk about their weight. They had expressed feelings of sadness, anger and disgust.
Man, have I been there. When I got on the scale before I started this I felt pretty awful. But I can remember a time when I felt even worse about myself than I did a month ago.
When I went to college I gain the Freshman 30+...I was weighing in at over 190. Part of this was because I ate like a pig, and part of it was that I had no body awareness. I did not see my butt growing despite my increasing pant size.
I am SO glad that I opened my eyes.
But I remember when I came home freshman year (my sister had lost like 100 pounds -go you!) and I got on a scale for the first time in probably a year. YOWZA! I remember thinking that it was going to be impossible to lose the weight. I remember feeling depressed, angry and sad. That summer I lost almost 30 pounds.
I was dedicated to myself.
And it felt soooooooo good.
I remember going back to school and feeling confident, good and strong.
I want that feeling back. I want it back bad.
I want to dedicate myself to me.
Today's shout out goes to my friend who sent me that message today. I love you more than you know and please don't let this break you. You are a strong and AMAZING woman and I know you can do whatever is it that you set your mind to.
Quote of the day: Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb
What I ate today:
Fiber one cereal and milk
apple
orange
Pizza
Ice cream
Granola bar
Peppers and Broccoli
Chicken and rice
Watermelon
Begin P90x week three!
Woo!
-K
Man, have I been there. When I got on the scale before I started this I felt pretty awful. But I can remember a time when I felt even worse about myself than I did a month ago.
When I went to college I gain the Freshman 30+...I was weighing in at over 190. Part of this was because I ate like a pig, and part of it was that I had no body awareness. I did not see my butt growing despite my increasing pant size.
I am SO glad that I opened my eyes.
But I remember when I came home freshman year (my sister had lost like 100 pounds -go you!) and I got on a scale for the first time in probably a year. YOWZA! I remember thinking that it was going to be impossible to lose the weight. I remember feeling depressed, angry and sad. That summer I lost almost 30 pounds.
I was dedicated to myself.
And it felt soooooooo good.
I remember going back to school and feeling confident, good and strong.
I want that feeling back. I want it back bad.
I want to dedicate myself to me.
Today's shout out goes to my friend who sent me that message today. I love you more than you know and please don't let this break you. You are a strong and AMAZING woman and I know you can do whatever is it that you set your mind to.
Quote of the day: Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb
What I ate today:
Fiber one cereal and milk
apple
orange
Pizza
Ice cream
Granola bar
Peppers and Broccoli
Chicken and rice
Watermelon
Begin P90x week three!
Woo!
-K
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Warrior
A little over a month ago my horoscope read:
I liked this so much that I cut it out, laminated it and put it in my wallet. I had forgotten about it until I came across it today.
A warrior. That is what I want to be.
Unfortunately, I am my own worst enemy. I want to battle all of my unsuccessful habits. Take them down. I want to be successful at managing my weight. I want to be successful at looking good, even better- feeling good. I want to be the master of myself.
I knew going into this, it was going to be tough. I have a lot of unsuccessful habits. While I have become a little better at managing them, I have not taken them down. I have moments, hours and days of weakness. There are more times than I would like to admit that I want to give up, but something always grounds me and tells me to look ahead. Even on the days that I eat nothing but sugar.
In my near future, I can be that warrior. I want to be a warrior.
***
Quote of the day: A warrior lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking about what he will think when he has finished acting. - Carlos Castaneda
Kempo today was FUN!
What I ate:
Fiber one cereal with milk
Shake
Apple
Orange
Grilled cheese
100 calorie doritos
Lasagna
SALAD
A roll
Watermelon
Much love
-K
You must battle your own tendencies. If they are not habits that lead to success, take them down. Do this even when it's difficult. That's the mark of a warrior.
I liked this so much that I cut it out, laminated it and put it in my wallet. I had forgotten about it until I came across it today.
A warrior. That is what I want to be.
Unfortunately, I am my own worst enemy. I want to battle all of my unsuccessful habits. Take them down. I want to be successful at managing my weight. I want to be successful at looking good, even better- feeling good. I want to be the master of myself.
I knew going into this, it was going to be tough. I have a lot of unsuccessful habits. While I have become a little better at managing them, I have not taken them down. I have moments, hours and days of weakness. There are more times than I would like to admit that I want to give up, but something always grounds me and tells me to look ahead. Even on the days that I eat nothing but sugar.
In my near future, I can be that warrior. I want to be a warrior.
***
Quote of the day: A warrior lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking about what he will think when he has finished acting. - Carlos Castaneda
Kempo today was FUN!
What I ate:
Fiber one cereal with milk
Shake
Apple
Orange
Grilled cheese
100 calorie doritos
Lasagna
SALAD
A roll
Watermelon
Much love
-K
Monday, July 5, 2010
Kool and the Gang said it best...
Today was one of the best days I have had in a while. I got to spend the day with two of my very best friends, who are very conscious of my own health, and just veg out.
Despite the good times had today I woke up in a funk. One of those "uhg, do I have to get out of bed today" kind of funks.
I blame the heat.
Something about these 95 degree days that just makes me feel blech.
This whole week is going to be hot, so I gotta find a way to endure it and all its tempting bad habits that can come from heat. Like: Ice cream, not exercising (both of which happened today) eating junk food.
Shout out today goes to my 2 lady friends for being aware of my changes and not encouraging bad choices, thanks!
Quote of the day: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
What I ate today:
Cheerios
Milk
Apples
Bruchetta Sandwich
Fruit Salad
Chex Mix
Small Chocolate Ice Cream
Grilled Cheese
Grapes
So not the best, but considering my past, could have been a lot worse.
Bring on the heat!
-K
Despite the good times had today I woke up in a funk. One of those "uhg, do I have to get out of bed today" kind of funks.
I blame the heat.
Something about these 95 degree days that just makes me feel blech.
This whole week is going to be hot, so I gotta find a way to endure it and all its tempting bad habits that can come from heat. Like: Ice cream, not exercising (both of which happened today) eating junk food.
Shout out today goes to my 2 lady friends for being aware of my changes and not encouraging bad choices, thanks!
Quote of the day: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
What I ate today:
Cheerios
Milk
Apples
Bruchetta Sandwich
Fruit Salad
Chex Mix
Small Chocolate Ice Cream
Grilled Cheese
Grapes
So not the best, but considering my past, could have been a lot worse.
Bring on the heat!
-K
Sunday, July 4, 2010
All you can eat
Happy 4th of July!
Today I celebrated. I told myself that I would eat well, but what I wanted to eat. I feel okay about it too.
Today I ate cheerios with milk, half a delicious turkey burger and a hot dog, some chips, potato salad, salad, corn on the cob, some cake, coffee, a handful of coconut m&m's, watermelon and some grapes. While I did not "eat well" I kept track of it all.
My plan for this week is to maintain. I have a 21st birthday to celebrate this weekend, and realistically, I know that to think I can lose would not make me feel good when I don't next Sunday.
Today was weigh in day: 163 (by some act of God I lost a pound) down 7 pounds.
It was also Yoga day. Phew.
Back on course tomorrow!
Shout out to America!
Quote of the day: There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
Love!
-K
Today I celebrated. I told myself that I would eat well, but what I wanted to eat. I feel okay about it too.
Today I ate cheerios with milk, half a delicious turkey burger and a hot dog, some chips, potato salad, salad, corn on the cob, some cake, coffee, a handful of coconut m&m's, watermelon and some grapes. While I did not "eat well" I kept track of it all.
My plan for this week is to maintain. I have a 21st birthday to celebrate this weekend, and realistically, I know that to think I can lose would not make me feel good when I don't next Sunday.
Today was weigh in day: 163 (by some act of God I lost a pound) down 7 pounds.
It was also Yoga day. Phew.
Back on course tomorrow!
Shout out to America!
Quote of the day: There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
Love!
-K
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Frustration
I have been pretty frustrated with myself the last few days.
As per usual, I have been lackadaisical with the tracking of my food. This is a skill,for some reason, I just can not get myself into. I think part of me is resistant to tracking because I don't want to have to track for the rest of my life, but then again, I will never master my food intake if I am not conscious of it.
I have definitely been making much better food choices since I began this change, but I know that I can do better.
This week (as predicted) has been challenging. I have had many out of the house food challenges and cravings up the wazoo. AND I still have three parties to attend. BUT I am taking this as an opportunity (and not a challenge) to make good/better choices, to keep track of everything and to be on my game.
I am pretty frustrated with myself this week. But I don't want this to be the thing that will make me sabotage myself. In the words of ADIDAS I need to "Just do it" because -really- the only person I am letting down is myself.
A friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday asking how I keep track of my food. Usually I write it down at night. But I also carry a mini notebook to write down all my food choices throughout the day. This week that fell by the wayside, but starting today I will get back on track (ha).
Sparkpeople also has a free food tracker (you can download it to your smart phone) which keeps track of calories, fiber, protein, fat and sodium (among other things if you choose to track them). This seems to be pretty helpful as well.
*
I am writing early today because we have a party to go to at 1. And since I am not cooking I can not say what I will eat today, but I am promising this: I will make good choices. I will eat the fruit (that I am bringing) and the veggies, I will eat a turkey burger instead of beef (or a hot dog for that matter - unless they are 97% fat free) and I am staying away from alcohol. Plus when its 95 degrees outside, who wants to drink anything other than water?
I did my workout this morning. Arms and shoulders (thank you Tony).
*
For the inquiring minds (and I appreciate the urges)- I did not blog yesterday because it was one of those no time, got a million and ten things to do, emergency work call, got home late - kind of days. I did not make the best food choices because I was "gone" from 8am to about 1030pm. But this is why I like new days. I get to start over.
*
Quote of the day: “Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there” -unknown
Shout out to Dori. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! and thanks for all the support you have given me!
Love
-K
As per usual, I have been lackadaisical with the tracking of my food. This is a skill,for some reason, I just can not get myself into. I think part of me is resistant to tracking because I don't want to have to track for the rest of my life, but then again, I will never master my food intake if I am not conscious of it.
I have definitely been making much better food choices since I began this change, but I know that I can do better.
This week (as predicted) has been challenging. I have had many out of the house food challenges and cravings up the wazoo. AND I still have three parties to attend. BUT I am taking this as an opportunity (and not a challenge) to make good/better choices, to keep track of everything and to be on my game.
I am pretty frustrated with myself this week. But I don't want this to be the thing that will make me sabotage myself. In the words of ADIDAS I need to "Just do it" because -really- the only person I am letting down is myself.
A friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday asking how I keep track of my food. Usually I write it down at night. But I also carry a mini notebook to write down all my food choices throughout the day. This week that fell by the wayside, but starting today I will get back on track (ha).
Sparkpeople also has a free food tracker (you can download it to your smart phone) which keeps track of calories, fiber, protein, fat and sodium (among other things if you choose to track them). This seems to be pretty helpful as well.
*
I am writing early today because we have a party to go to at 1. And since I am not cooking I can not say what I will eat today, but I am promising this: I will make good choices. I will eat the fruit (that I am bringing) and the veggies, I will eat a turkey burger instead of beef (or a hot dog for that matter - unless they are 97% fat free) and I am staying away from alcohol. Plus when its 95 degrees outside, who wants to drink anything other than water?
I did my workout this morning. Arms and shoulders (thank you Tony).
*
For the inquiring minds (and I appreciate the urges)- I did not blog yesterday because it was one of those no time, got a million and ten things to do, emergency work call, got home late - kind of days. I did not make the best food choices because I was "gone" from 8am to about 1030pm. But this is why I like new days. I get to start over.
*
Quote of the day: “Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there” -unknown
Shout out to Dori. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! and thanks for all the support you have given me!
Love
-K
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Mmm Pizza
Today was a fun day.
Got my hair did. Got a glue gun. Saw a friend. Ate some Pizza.
Knowing that I wanted some delicious Pizza I saved some room for it.
One of the best things about my friends is their willingness to listen to all my issues and support all my new habits. For that I love you guys.
Since I am using a borrowed computer, and about to watch the Mr. Fox movie today will be short.
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Cantaloupe
100 Calorie Bagel
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Orange
Salad
Pizza
A few bites of some chocolate cake
Diet Pepsi
Yum!
-K
Got my hair did. Got a glue gun. Saw a friend. Ate some Pizza.
Knowing that I wanted some delicious Pizza I saved some room for it.
One of the best things about my friends is their willingness to listen to all my issues and support all my new habits. For that I love you guys.
Since I am using a borrowed computer, and about to watch the Mr. Fox movie today will be short.
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Cantaloupe
100 Calorie Bagel
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Orange
Salad
Pizza
A few bites of some chocolate cake
Diet Pepsi
Yum!
-K
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Cleansing
As a friend so delicately stated to me via text I am a 2 days late on my blog..so I am getting on it.
Thank you for the support.
I have no excuse for not updating yesterday, I just forgot.
*
Yesterday I had a conversation with a fabulous friend about food (and old flames/habits). After sharing with her that I was deleting some things in my life she noted that I was in a stage of cleansing.
I like the idea of that. I am cleansing not just my body but my mind and soul too. I am riding myself of bad/negative habits and things that are counterproductive to my ultimate goal.
I have begun to change my eating habits, I have been working on changing my self defeating thoughts and I have changed my workout habits. I definitely feel like I am sweating out all the bad things in my body. I think in the past week I have sweat more than I have in all my 25 years combined.
*
Today is a rest day. I was thinking about taking a spin class, but I woke up this morning and my body was screaming for a break. So I am resting. I will admit though, it felt odd this morning to get up and not almost immediately start a work out. And (dare I say it) I am actually looking forward to my work out tomorrow. What is happening here?!?
Now I am planning my weekend (4th of July!) to make sure I feel satisfied without the guilt.
Shout out goes to Sam- thanks for the love and woo for the last day of this month and here's to a wayy better July!
Quote of the day: Upon having a favorite food discussion my fabulous friend declared "No wonder man! A person's favorite food is ham, its a wonder what their body looks like!"
You are what you eat! I would be a carrot. BORING!
What I ate today:
Corn flakes
Milk
Banana
Apple
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Corn
Chicken Sausage and Peppers
Cantaloupe
Popcorn
xoxo
-K
Thank you for the support.
I have no excuse for not updating yesterday, I just forgot.
*
Yesterday I had a conversation with a fabulous friend about food (and old flames/habits). After sharing with her that I was deleting some things in my life she noted that I was in a stage of cleansing.
I like the idea of that. I am cleansing not just my body but my mind and soul too. I am riding myself of bad/negative habits and things that are counterproductive to my ultimate goal.
I have begun to change my eating habits, I have been working on changing my self defeating thoughts and I have changed my workout habits. I definitely feel like I am sweating out all the bad things in my body. I think in the past week I have sweat more than I have in all my 25 years combined.
*
Today is a rest day. I was thinking about taking a spin class, but I woke up this morning and my body was screaming for a break. So I am resting. I will admit though, it felt odd this morning to get up and not almost immediately start a work out. And (dare I say it) I am actually looking forward to my work out tomorrow. What is happening here?!?
Now I am planning my weekend (4th of July!) to make sure I feel satisfied without the guilt.
Shout out goes to Sam- thanks for the love and woo for the last day of this month and here's to a wayy better July!
Quote of the day: Upon having a favorite food discussion my fabulous friend declared "No wonder man! A person's favorite food is ham, its a wonder what their body looks like!"
You are what you eat! I would be a carrot. BORING!
What I ate today:
Corn flakes
Milk
Banana
Apple
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Corn
Chicken Sausage and Peppers
Cantaloupe
Popcorn
xoxo
-K
Monday, June 28, 2010
M'am step back from the food.
Summer time and the living -should be- easy.
I have been very close to triggering today. What I mean is that now that I am trying to become more aware of my "food issues" I have noticed that I have a lot of triggers. I know I wrote about my emotional eating and the situational eating, both of which are triggers.
I have also discovered that some food is a trigger for me to over eat. There are certain foods that make me want to eat and eat and eat some more.
This is the tricky part. Part of me wants to ignore these foods completely the other part of me wants to incorporate them and trust that I will have some self control. I just worry that I won't, which will lead to some serious emotional eating.
Some of my trigger foods include (but are not limited to):
Doritos
Sour cream and onion potato chips
chocolate
cake
chocolate cake
brownies
pretty much all candy
It's all the "bad" stuff. These are all things that I like, and want to be able to enjoy once in a while, but its almost impossible to buy single servings (with the exception of the chips) of these items. Then I binge or take a serving size for 3.
Anyway, this is what I did today. I really wanted some doritos. So On my shopping trip I picked up a box of the 100 calorie snack packs. We had turkey burgers corn on the cob and chips for dinner. So I wouldn't eat all 5 of the packs I ate my burger and corn before I ate the doritos. It worked. I was able to satisfy the craving and didn't over eat because I was pretty much full when I started to eat them.
If only I could apply this to all of my trigger foods.
One day I will!
Shout out goes to Tom, for not allowing me to take myself too seriously.
Quote of the day: "Have an aim in life - then don't forget to pull the trigger" - unknown
What I ate today:
Protein shake
banana
Chicken Sandwich with lettuce
Watermelon
Chex mix
Turkey Burger
Corn
Doritos
Cantaloupe
Activity: P90x Legs and Back and training - double the fun
Love love love
-K
I have been very close to triggering today. What I mean is that now that I am trying to become more aware of my "food issues" I have noticed that I have a lot of triggers. I know I wrote about my emotional eating and the situational eating, both of which are triggers.
I have also discovered that some food is a trigger for me to over eat. There are certain foods that make me want to eat and eat and eat some more.
This is the tricky part. Part of me wants to ignore these foods completely the other part of me wants to incorporate them and trust that I will have some self control. I just worry that I won't, which will lead to some serious emotional eating.
Some of my trigger foods include (but are not limited to):
Doritos
Sour cream and onion potato chips
chocolate
cake
chocolate cake
brownies
pretty much all candy
It's all the "bad" stuff. These are all things that I like, and want to be able to enjoy once in a while, but its almost impossible to buy single servings (with the exception of the chips) of these items. Then I binge or take a serving size for 3.
Anyway, this is what I did today. I really wanted some doritos. So On my shopping trip I picked up a box of the 100 calorie snack packs. We had turkey burgers corn on the cob and chips for dinner. So I wouldn't eat all 5 of the packs I ate my burger and corn before I ate the doritos. It worked. I was able to satisfy the craving and didn't over eat because I was pretty much full when I started to eat them.
If only I could apply this to all of my trigger foods.
One day I will!
Shout out goes to Tom, for not allowing me to take myself too seriously.
Quote of the day: "Have an aim in life - then don't forget to pull the trigger" - unknown
What I ate today:
Protein shake
banana
Chicken Sandwich with lettuce
Watermelon
Chex mix
Turkey Burger
Corn
Doritos
Cantaloupe
Activity: P90x Legs and Back and training - double the fun
Love love love
-K
Sunday, June 27, 2010
B-O-O H-O-O
Today was weigh in day.
A big fat zero.
When I got on the scale I knew that this week was tough due to last day of school, Tom's birthday and my friends birthday. So I am not really surprised, but it still didn't stop me from wanting to kick the scale across the room.
This attitude is self defeating. You know, when you expect miracles to happen - and then they don't happen - and you become deflated which could cause an all out binge. If this happened to me a few months ago (not losing weight) I would have given up. I would have gone home and ate everything I laid my eyes on.
Not today.
Sure, I was pissed. BUT I didn't allow it to get to me for more than a few minutes. I complained to Tom (and Nancy) then we did our Yoga work out. I didn't binge or eat some crappy food. I just told myself that this week would be better. It will be better.
So my very appropriate quote of the day: Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it - unknown
Shout out to the Naninator - who listened to me bitch.
*I am still working on my little research project, I am waiting for some more feedback, but what I have got so far is very interesting...
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Rice cake with Almond butter (yum!)
Orange
Flax Seed Crisps
Chicken
Roasted Potatoes
Salad
Corn on the Cob
Brownie
Grapes
P90x-Yoga. Silly me thought this would be easy. Nope.
Weight: 164 - still down 6!
xo
-K
A big fat zero.
When I got on the scale I knew that this week was tough due to last day of school, Tom's birthday and my friends birthday. So I am not really surprised, but it still didn't stop me from wanting to kick the scale across the room.
This attitude is self defeating. You know, when you expect miracles to happen - and then they don't happen - and you become deflated which could cause an all out binge. If this happened to me a few months ago (not losing weight) I would have given up. I would have gone home and ate everything I laid my eyes on.
Not today.
Sure, I was pissed. BUT I didn't allow it to get to me for more than a few minutes. I complained to Tom (and Nancy) then we did our Yoga work out. I didn't binge or eat some crappy food. I just told myself that this week would be better. It will be better.
So my very appropriate quote of the day: Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it - unknown
Shout out to the Naninator - who listened to me bitch.
*I am still working on my little research project, I am waiting for some more feedback, but what I have got so far is very interesting...
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Rice cake with Almond butter (yum!)
Orange
Flax Seed Crisps
Chicken
Roasted Potatoes
Salad
Corn on the Cob
Brownie
Grapes
P90x-Yoga. Silly me thought this would be easy. Nope.
Weight: 164 - still down 6!
xo
-K
Saturday, June 26, 2010
No, I am not pregnant!!!
I was asked for the third time (in one year) if I am pregnant. This time by a stranger in a grocery store...and to make it even better she actually touched my stomach while asking when I was due.
There is nothing more "I am fat" affirming than being asked if you are pregnant when you aren't.
People astound me on a regular basis. I just can't get over peoples chutzpah to touch and then ask a perfect stranger (who may just have a little extra belly fat) when they are having a baby. First of all how is that any of your business ? Second, I DON'T KNOW YOU! Don't touch me!
I should have bitch slapped her.
All three people who have asked me this obnoxious question have been embarrassed after I tell them that I am not, in fact, pregnant. So why even put yourself in that situation? Spare yourself the embarrassment and don't comment on a stranger, or anyones, belly size.
Consider me annoyed.
*
Anyway, P90x is still going strong. Today was chest and arms and it feels good!
Shout out goes to Erik, may you sit in Grandma's lap for all eternity.
Quote of the day: "The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with obnoxious bastards"
-Jablokov
*
What I ate today:
Protein shake
Reduced fat blueberry muffin
Latte
carrots
apple
Chicken
Potato
Broccoli
Orange
Lots-o-love
-K
There is nothing more "I am fat" affirming than being asked if you are pregnant when you aren't.
People astound me on a regular basis. I just can't get over peoples chutzpah to touch and then ask a perfect stranger (who may just have a little extra belly fat) when they are having a baby. First of all how is that any of your business ? Second, I DON'T KNOW YOU! Don't touch me!
I should have bitch slapped her.
All three people who have asked me this obnoxious question have been embarrassed after I tell them that I am not, in fact, pregnant. So why even put yourself in that situation? Spare yourself the embarrassment and don't comment on a stranger, or anyones, belly size.
Consider me annoyed.
*
Anyway, P90x is still going strong. Today was chest and arms and it feels good!
Shout out goes to Erik, may you sit in Grandma's lap for all eternity.
Quote of the day: "The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with obnoxious bastards"
-Jablokov
*
What I ate today:
Protein shake
Reduced fat blueberry muffin
Latte
carrots
apple
Chicken
Potato
Broccoli
Orange
Lots-o-love
-K
Friday, June 25, 2010
Ice cream and cake
Two of my summer weaknesses. Ice cream and cake. I don't even eat ice cream at home, but something about going out for ice cream on a hot summer day...mmmmmmmmmm.
Today a good friend of mine turned 30. Tonight we are going out to celebrate (I am DD) to a delicious Mexican restaurant, and today we went to the beach. Enter ice cream. I packed a bunch of fruit with me, so I wouldn't be tempted by the typical beach food and factored in some room for my ice cream - chocolate peanut butter cup. It was worth it.
I am trying my hardest to balance these types of things. Being able to eat a yummy treat once in a while, having it not "ruin" my eating habits and not feeling guilty about it. Being honest, I felt guilty about the ice cream for a few minutes and had to do some serious positive self talk to get over it.
I want to be able to live without having to worry about parties, and tracking all of my calories. I want to just be able to do it. I want it to become like a second nature. It sounds impossible, but I am hopeful that it will happen. One day.
*
I did not blog yesterday. My first missed one in 18 days. Unfortunately, when we get storms up here our internet craps out. I also had to work and then Tom and I went on a date. But I did well, by my own standards. I even counted out some candy to bring with me to the movie and drank lots of water.
Yesterday we began the real P90x workouts. Its actually kind of fun, although today was pylometrics (which I HATE with a fiery burning passion) and it was INTENSE. Good thing for modification. I am really liking the way it makes me feel.
*
Todays shout out goes to Leah, happy birthday!
Quote of the day: Try your best and forget the rest -P90x guy
What I ate today:
Protein bar
Orange
Apple
Chex Cereal with Milk
Chocolate PB ice cream
Carrots
House Salad
Fajitas or Tacos (I checked the menu and its between these two- I counted the calories)
Diet Coke
Ciao
-K
Today a good friend of mine turned 30. Tonight we are going out to celebrate (I am DD) to a delicious Mexican restaurant, and today we went to the beach. Enter ice cream. I packed a bunch of fruit with me, so I wouldn't be tempted by the typical beach food and factored in some room for my ice cream - chocolate peanut butter cup. It was worth it.
I am trying my hardest to balance these types of things. Being able to eat a yummy treat once in a while, having it not "ruin" my eating habits and not feeling guilty about it. Being honest, I felt guilty about the ice cream for a few minutes and had to do some serious positive self talk to get over it.
I want to be able to live without having to worry about parties, and tracking all of my calories. I want to just be able to do it. I want it to become like a second nature. It sounds impossible, but I am hopeful that it will happen. One day.
*
I did not blog yesterday. My first missed one in 18 days. Unfortunately, when we get storms up here our internet craps out. I also had to work and then Tom and I went on a date. But I did well, by my own standards. I even counted out some candy to bring with me to the movie and drank lots of water.
Yesterday we began the real P90x workouts. Its actually kind of fun, although today was pylometrics (which I HATE with a fiery burning passion) and it was INTENSE. Good thing for modification. I am really liking the way it makes me feel.
*
Todays shout out goes to Leah, happy birthday!
Quote of the day: Try your best and forget the rest -P90x guy
What I ate today:
Protein bar
Orange
Apple
Chex Cereal with Milk
Chocolate PB ice cream
Carrots
House Salad
Fajitas or Tacos (I checked the menu and its between these two- I counted the calories)
Diet Coke
Ciao
-K
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