160! Down 10 pounds! Yesssss!!
One of the coolest parts so far? I actually, for the first time in my life, have the resemblance of a muscle. COOL.
*
I am planning for our weekend. Since we are staying at a friends lake house I will be able to control a majority of what goes into my body. Tom just cut up a huge watermelon that I plan on bringing, along with some cantaloupe and fat free hot dogs.
And I plan on swimming and kayaking. I love to kayak or canoe, it's so fun!
Okay, we are out of here.
Catch ya on the flip side!
-K
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
That is my little black bikini. You know, the one that I swore I would have the guts to wear in public by the end of the summer.
I realized today that I have one month left to get my ass to the pool wearing that thing. Then I got an e-mail from sparkpeople.com with an article written by a woman who is morbidly obese and does aquatic classes for exercise. She wrote that she often gets asked how she could possibly be comfortable wearing a bathing suit with her body. Her answer was: No one cares. She isn't even on other peoples radar.
Naturally, I started to think about all the people that I have seen at the beach or the pool. I know for a fact that I have definitely "eyed" people on the beach, took in their size and shape. I can not remember a single image or person or body size...there is no one that has stuck to my brain. Not a fat person, not a skinny person and not even a "regular" sized person.
I tend to make assumptions that most people have similar thought processes to me. I am pretty regular. I make my judgments and move on. At the end of the day I don't care about any of those people that I saw at the beach. So why would I assume that any of them give a crap about me and what I look like? Sure they will make their snap judgments, but they will forget about me in 5 minutes.
No one cares.
Sometime very soon I will be strutting all my stuff (wobbly bits and all) down at the pool in my little black bikini.
This is a shirt that I have had for four years. It's also how I feel today.
This is Sasha modeling one of my hair clip creations. She is a gorgeous model.Today I got a message with regards to my previous post. It was awesome. I plan on sharing it very soon.
Tom and I are going to New Hampshire this weekend, which means that I probably won't be blogging for a few days.
Love!
-K
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I can relate
One of the (many) good things about my sisters is that I can wear my heart on my sleeve without feeling like I will be judged (or that it will cause an issue). This often leads to some quality discussions and a lot of I can relate to that!
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
Monday, July 26, 2010
Savor the flavor
I had a fabulous weekend!
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Many thanks and a plea
Since I have started this blog I have received several e-mails, texts, phone calls etc. from friends and family and even people I do not have a "relationship" with telling me how inspired they have been by reading my blog.
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wordless
I wish I could write everyday. While I am often busy, its usually not because I don't have the 20 minutes to blog. Often, when I don't write it's because I don't know what to say. I don't write because little left me feeling inspired by the end of the day.
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Weight and Measurements
Today was weigh in day and we took my measurements.
I am excited to report:
Current weight: 161 -down 9 pounds! I have officially lost 5% of my weight!
Arms: 11' - down 1/2 inch and I have some muscles to show for it!
Waist: 28' - down 2 inches
Bust: 35' - down 1 inch
Thigh: somewhere between 23 3/4' to 25' because we couldn't remember where on my thigh we measured - down somewhere between 1 to 2 1/4 inch
Hips: 37 1/4' - down 4 3/4 inches
WOOT!
I notice the differences, I feel better and (most of the time) I feel good.
Again I want to thank everyone for your continued support and love. You have all been so amazing, and somehow the love always comes when it is needed the most.
Love,
-K
I am excited to report:
Current weight: 161 -down 9 pounds! I have officially lost 5% of my weight!
Arms: 11' - down 1/2 inch and I have some muscles to show for it!
Waist: 28' - down 2 inches
Bust: 35' - down 1 inch
Thigh: somewhere between 23 3/4' to 25' because we couldn't remember where on my thigh we measured - down somewhere between 1 to 2 1/4 inch
Hips: 37 1/4' - down 4 3/4 inches
WOOT!
I notice the differences, I feel better and (most of the time) I feel good.
Again I want to thank everyone for your continued support and love. You have all been so amazing, and somehow the love always comes when it is needed the most.
Love,
-K
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Scuba to Aruba
This week Tom and I began scuba lessons. I am giving it its own post because after last night's class I left feeling exhausted, HUNGRY and thinking about a few thing things.
I did a little research: On average, scuba burns about 8 calories a minute. Last night we were in the pool for about 90 minutes-we were probably only scuba-ing for about 60- therefore we burned 480 calories! Not to mention getting the flipping full body wet suit on...that must have burned an extra 50! No wonder I was so hungry!
One of the things that several of the magazines and gurus offer as "weight loss tips" is that when your trying to lose weight you should have fun. Scuba is exciting, interesting and (yes) a little dangerous. But, it's also fun! I enjoy doing it.
I won't be doing this weekly once the course is over, but its good to know that it can be considered somewhat of a workout. And I like it-gasp!
Another thing that happened last night was when the women were getting fitted for their wetsuits. The suits came in five sizes the extra small (being a 4) to extra large (being a 12). So, the women go up and take a guess (or the instructor told you) as to what size they will need- I guessed I would need a large (or a 10). Then this girl who I perceived as being the same exact size as me went up after me and said I need a 12. Naturally, I thought either she was crazy OR that I was totally underestimating my own size. After squeezing my body into the wetsuit and going back to the instructor for a size check I thought for sure he was going to tell me that I needed the 12. Nope. He said "perfect fit!" Then he told the other girl (12) that her's was a perfect fit too! What?!?
It got me thinking. How off is my own body perception? How skewed is my thought about what my body looks like? Especially when I compare myself to other women?
I remember watching the show How to Look Good Naked (the one with Carson Kressley) and this exercise he did with one of the women. He brought in a handful of women with many different body types and put them in a line up. He then asked the woman to look at all the women and place herself next to the woman with the same or similar body type. She placed herself next to a woman that was actually quite larger than she was.
The point being that her perception was waaayyy off. I wonder if mine is too.
I would like to think that I am pretty aware of my body and what it looks like, but I am not so sure. I need to work on that.
Quote of the day: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Shout out: goes to Scuba divers across the world
P90x Cardio and What I ate:
Cheerios with milk
apple
carrots with hummus
chicken enchilada
100 cal doritos
banana
almonds
2 fat free hot dogs
watermelon
Much love!
-K
I did a little research: On average, scuba burns about 8 calories a minute. Last night we were in the pool for about 90 minutes-we were probably only scuba-ing for about 60- therefore we burned 480 calories! Not to mention getting the flipping full body wet suit on...that must have burned an extra 50! No wonder I was so hungry!
One of the things that several of the magazines and gurus offer as "weight loss tips" is that when your trying to lose weight you should have fun. Scuba is exciting, interesting and (yes) a little dangerous. But, it's also fun! I enjoy doing it.
I won't be doing this weekly once the course is over, but its good to know that it can be considered somewhat of a workout. And I like it-gasp!
Another thing that happened last night was when the women were getting fitted for their wetsuits. The suits came in five sizes the extra small (being a 4) to extra large (being a 12). So, the women go up and take a guess (or the instructor told you) as to what size they will need- I guessed I would need a large (or a 10). Then this girl who I perceived as being the same exact size as me went up after me and said I need a 12. Naturally, I thought either she was crazy OR that I was totally underestimating my own size. After squeezing my body into the wetsuit and going back to the instructor for a size check I thought for sure he was going to tell me that I needed the 12. Nope. He said "perfect fit!" Then he told the other girl (12) that her's was a perfect fit too! What?!?
It got me thinking. How off is my own body perception? How skewed is my thought about what my body looks like? Especially when I compare myself to other women?
I remember watching the show How to Look Good Naked (the one with Carson Kressley) and this exercise he did with one of the women. He brought in a handful of women with many different body types and put them in a line up. He then asked the woman to look at all the women and place herself next to the woman with the same or similar body type. She placed herself next to a woman that was actually quite larger than she was.
The point being that her perception was waaayyy off. I wonder if mine is too.
I would like to think that I am pretty aware of my body and what it looks like, but I am not so sure. I need to work on that.
Quote of the day: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Shout out: goes to Scuba divers across the world
P90x Cardio and What I ate:
Cheerios with milk
apple
carrots with hummus
chicken enchilada
100 cal doritos
banana
almonds
2 fat free hot dogs
watermelon
Much love!
-K
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Inspiration
I wanted to included this in my post yesterday, but I wanted to ask the Author's permission first.
A wonderful woman (I met while working in a clinic) writes a blog about her health/body/body image and past struggles. I have been following her blog for a while now and I think she is truly inspiring. She has be able to work on her own stuff and has found a "good place" that one day I hope to be in. She writes with honesty and humor and so often I have read her posts and been like "I totally get that" and sometimes I read in awe that she has been working so hard to accept who she is and continues to maintain her health. I even love the blog URL -anotherpieceofcake. How awesome. Anyway, I urge you to check her out.
I don't want to give away her history or what she is about but one post in particular spoke to me. She spoke about learning how to eat "healthy portions" without measuring (or obsessing) and figuring out what her Ideal Body Weight (IBW) actually is vs what she wanted it to be.
That is SO where I want to be.
I am very resistant to measuring my food, because when I am not at home, I don't have control over 1 cup of cereal or 3 oz of meat - PLUS who wants to measure all of their food? Thats just a pain in the ass. BUT if I can learn to "eyeball" a healthy portion then I won't have to worry about always washing my measuring cups and I can be successful outside of my home.
Also, as I stated, I know that I can not maintain a weight below 145. I am 5'8. I have got HIPS. There is no way that any weight below that is realistic. Sure I wouldn't mind being a size 4 and super svelte, but I will be more than content being a size 8-10 and fit (and probably about 150).
However, this whole above statement brings me to an issue I have been internalizing and struggling with along my journey. Why am I so obsessed with that number on the scale? Why are all my issues with numbers? My weight, my measurements, the number of push-ups I can do...its all so irritating.
But I am hoping that when I can learn to master all of these skills (and they are all skills one learns) I can really begin to work on myself and my perception of myself and be less obsessive about the numbers and the measurements.
Today's Quote of the day comes from this so inspiring blog that I speak of: "If you treat it well, your body will find its equilibrium. It will reside at a healthy weight."
Shout out: goes to all the girls and boys out there who can totally relate.
Back on track today:
Cereal with milk
Banana
Apple
Carrots with hummus
Queso wrap
granola bar
Chicken
Corn on the cob
stuffing (yes!)
Watermelon
Much love
-K
A wonderful woman (I met while working in a clinic) writes a blog about her health/body/body image and past struggles. I have been following her blog for a while now and I think she is truly inspiring. She has be able to work on her own stuff and has found a "good place" that one day I hope to be in. She writes with honesty and humor and so often I have read her posts and been like "I totally get that" and sometimes I read in awe that she has been working so hard to accept who she is and continues to maintain her health. I even love the blog URL -anotherpieceofcake. How awesome. Anyway, I urge you to check her out.
I don't want to give away her history or what she is about but one post in particular spoke to me. She spoke about learning how to eat "healthy portions" without measuring (or obsessing) and figuring out what her Ideal Body Weight (IBW) actually is vs what she wanted it to be.
That is SO where I want to be.
I am very resistant to measuring my food, because when I am not at home, I don't have control over 1 cup of cereal or 3 oz of meat - PLUS who wants to measure all of their food? Thats just a pain in the ass. BUT if I can learn to "eyeball" a healthy portion then I won't have to worry about always washing my measuring cups and I can be successful outside of my home.
Also, as I stated, I know that I can not maintain a weight below 145. I am 5'8. I have got HIPS. There is no way that any weight below that is realistic. Sure I wouldn't mind being a size 4 and super svelte, but I will be more than content being a size 8-10 and fit (and probably about 150).
However, this whole above statement brings me to an issue I have been internalizing and struggling with along my journey. Why am I so obsessed with that number on the scale? Why are all my issues with numbers? My weight, my measurements, the number of push-ups I can do...its all so irritating.
But I am hoping that when I can learn to master all of these skills (and they are all skills one learns) I can really begin to work on myself and my perception of myself and be less obsessive about the numbers and the measurements.
Today's Quote of the day comes from this so inspiring blog that I speak of: "If you treat it well, your body will find its equilibrium. It will reside at a healthy weight."
Shout out: goes to all the girls and boys out there who can totally relate.
Back on track today:
Cereal with milk
Banana
Apple
Carrots with hummus
Queso wrap
granola bar
Chicken
Corn on the cob
stuffing (yes!)
Watermelon
Much love
-K
Monday, July 12, 2010
Heaven on a plate
This past weekend is going to be kissed up to God but what a fantastic weekend!
As I mentioned Tom and I went to NY to celebrate my sisters 21st birthday.
The weekend was especially awesome because I got to spend time with my entire family. All of us in one place! We drank a lot of good beer and excellent wine (I reccommend Layer Cake Malbec-YUM!) and the food... Oh. My. God. we ate some amazing food.
I have to talk about the food. We went to The Stanton Station, which was designed as a tapas bar serving style, and I think we ate almost everything on the menu. I can't even list what we ate because we had so many things, but if any of you ever find yourself in the East Village you MUST try this place and order the French Onion Soup Dumplings and the Chicken Cashew Spring Rolls. SO YUMMY and the inspiration for this blog title.
Anyway, as I stated I wasn't going to expect miracles this weekend and my goal was to maintain. Honestly, I have not gotten on the scale yet - mostly out of fear - but starting now I am getting back on track.
On my ride home this morning I was starting to feel guilty about my indulgent weekend. Real self defeating talk. However, when I got home and checked my facebook there was a message waiting for me from this fabulous woman, KS. I took out some of your personal notes (as some of us may not want all our business out there) But she wrote:
Shout out goes to KS for...well everything you did for yourself and what you did for me today!
Scuba starts today!
Making up for some missed exercise tomorrow!
Love!
-K
As I mentioned Tom and I went to NY to celebrate my sisters 21st birthday.
The weekend was especially awesome because I got to spend time with my entire family. All of us in one place! We drank a lot of good beer and excellent wine (I reccommend Layer Cake Malbec-YUM!) and the food... Oh. My. God. we ate some amazing food.
I have to talk about the food. We went to The Stanton Station, which was designed as a tapas bar serving style, and I think we ate almost everything on the menu. I can't even list what we ate because we had so many things, but if any of you ever find yourself in the East Village you MUST try this place and order the French Onion Soup Dumplings and the Chicken Cashew Spring Rolls. SO YUMMY and the inspiration for this blog title.
Anyway, as I stated I wasn't going to expect miracles this weekend and my goal was to maintain. Honestly, I have not gotten on the scale yet - mostly out of fear - but starting now I am getting back on track.
On my ride home this morning I was starting to feel guilty about my indulgent weekend. Real self defeating talk. However, when I got home and checked my facebook there was a message waiting for me from this fabulous woman, KS. I took out some of your personal notes (as some of us may not want all our business out there) But she wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I'm one of your silent blog readers and wanted you to know that you are absolutely inspiring!....and reading your blog every day has seriously helped me to stay motivated.... you have really helped to put this all into perspective so I want to thank you. You've made me reflect on the journey so far and have reminded me not to get down on myself...but rather to pat myself on the back and give myself a break. This is hard work and we deserve to relish in the moment rather than stress over the future....I hope you're SUPER proud of yourself for setting such awesome realistic goals and for really changing the way you feel about yourself. You are one awesome lady!
Also, KS has been working on her own journey and has made some major accomplishments - so congrats on your own successes and keep up all your hard work! From your pictures (and what JW tells me) you look awesome!This was just...so grounding and helpful. It's like it came at the perfect time for me to not our get down on myself (for a weekend I planned!) and to get back on the horse. Thank you KS!
Shout out goes to KS for...well everything you did for yourself and what you did for me today!
Scuba starts today!
Making up for some missed exercise tomorrow!
Love!
-K
Friday, July 9, 2010
Where has the logic gone?
Today Tom and I watched a documentary called, Bigger, Stronger, Faster: The Side Effect of Being American. It's about steroid use in America. It was pretty interesting, but I think what I found most interesting was they way the individuals who used Steroids justified their use.
Several of them stated that everyone does it (in their field of athleticism), that they couldn't lift 800 pounds (GOD FORBID) if they didn't, you get a better workout while on them and the best one that so many of our heroes and world leaders "cheat" so why not?
I couldn't help but think where is the logic? Really? How can you justify putting an unnatural substance (not to mention illegal) into your body to look like this? This is Greg Valentino (he makes me want to vomit) his biceps are 27 inches -Hulk Hogan's were 24 inches in his hay day- and he (well they both did) uses Roids like they are going out of style.
I personally find this look appalling, and I don't know of a single person who finds this look appealing. Even more so the logic...I just don't get it.
Consider me stupefied.
*
On a completely different note I had a grounding moment today. I had to go into Boston today for an appointment. I out on my cute sleeveless black dress, wore a flower in my hair and just felt pretty good. As I was walking down the street feeling all confident about myself and just as I was thinking to myself Man, I feel good - I tripped. Yup. Over my own feet, in front of a bunch of strangers. When I collected myself I couldn't help but think That's what you get for feeling good about yourself. It just pissed me off.
*
Anyway, we are going to NYC to celebrate Keri turning 21 so I won't be back until Monday or Tuesday. My goal was to maintain, so I won't be eating garbage, but I am allowing myself some alcohol and some good NY food. I will let you know how it goes.
Shout out goes to Keri!!!! HAPPY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love
-K
Several of them stated that everyone does it (in their field of athleticism), that they couldn't lift 800 pounds (GOD FORBID) if they didn't, you get a better workout while on them and the best one that so many of our heroes and world leaders "cheat" so why not?
I couldn't help but think where is the logic? Really? How can you justify putting an unnatural substance (not to mention illegal) into your body to look like this? This is Greg Valentino (he makes me want to vomit) his biceps are 27 inches -Hulk Hogan's were 24 inches in his hay day- and he (well they both did) uses Roids like they are going out of style.
I personally find this look appalling, and I don't know of a single person who finds this look appealing. Even more so the logic...I just don't get it.
Consider me stupefied.
*
On a completely different note I had a grounding moment today. I had to go into Boston today for an appointment. I out on my cute sleeveless black dress, wore a flower in my hair and just felt pretty good. As I was walking down the street feeling all confident about myself and just as I was thinking to myself Man, I feel good - I tripped. Yup. Over my own feet, in front of a bunch of strangers. When I collected myself I couldn't help but think That's what you get for feeling good about yourself. It just pissed me off.
*
Anyway, we are going to NYC to celebrate Keri turning 21 so I won't be back until Monday or Tuesday. My goal was to maintain, so I won't be eating garbage, but I am allowing myself some alcohol and some good NY food. I will let you know how it goes.
Shout out goes to Keri!!!! HAPPY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love
-K
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Can I tell you something?
Today I had a friend contact me to talk about their weight. They had expressed feelings of sadness, anger and disgust.
Man, have I been there. When I got on the scale before I started this I felt pretty awful. But I can remember a time when I felt even worse about myself than I did a month ago.
When I went to college I gain the Freshman 30+...I was weighing in at over 190. Part of this was because I ate like a pig, and part of it was that I had no body awareness. I did not see my butt growing despite my increasing pant size.
I am SO glad that I opened my eyes.
But I remember when I came home freshman year (my sister had lost like 100 pounds -go you!) and I got on a scale for the first time in probably a year. YOWZA! I remember thinking that it was going to be impossible to lose the weight. I remember feeling depressed, angry and sad. That summer I lost almost 30 pounds.
I was dedicated to myself.
And it felt soooooooo good.
I remember going back to school and feeling confident, good and strong.
I want that feeling back. I want it back bad.
I want to dedicate myself to me.
Today's shout out goes to my friend who sent me that message today. I love you more than you know and please don't let this break you. You are a strong and AMAZING woman and I know you can do whatever is it that you set your mind to.
Quote of the day: Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb
What I ate today:
Fiber one cereal and milk
apple
orange
Pizza
Ice cream
Granola bar
Peppers and Broccoli
Chicken and rice
Watermelon
Begin P90x week three!
Woo!
-K
Man, have I been there. When I got on the scale before I started this I felt pretty awful. But I can remember a time when I felt even worse about myself than I did a month ago.
When I went to college I gain the Freshman 30+...I was weighing in at over 190. Part of this was because I ate like a pig, and part of it was that I had no body awareness. I did not see my butt growing despite my increasing pant size.
I am SO glad that I opened my eyes.
But I remember when I came home freshman year (my sister had lost like 100 pounds -go you!) and I got on a scale for the first time in probably a year. YOWZA! I remember thinking that it was going to be impossible to lose the weight. I remember feeling depressed, angry and sad. That summer I lost almost 30 pounds.
I was dedicated to myself.
And it felt soooooooo good.
I remember going back to school and feeling confident, good and strong.
I want that feeling back. I want it back bad.
I want to dedicate myself to me.
Today's shout out goes to my friend who sent me that message today. I love you more than you know and please don't let this break you. You are a strong and AMAZING woman and I know you can do whatever is it that you set your mind to.
Quote of the day: Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb
What I ate today:
Fiber one cereal and milk
apple
orange
Pizza
Ice cream
Granola bar
Peppers and Broccoli
Chicken and rice
Watermelon
Begin P90x week three!
Woo!
-K
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Warrior
A little over a month ago my horoscope read:
I liked this so much that I cut it out, laminated it and put it in my wallet. I had forgotten about it until I came across it today.
A warrior. That is what I want to be.
Unfortunately, I am my own worst enemy. I want to battle all of my unsuccessful habits. Take them down. I want to be successful at managing my weight. I want to be successful at looking good, even better- feeling good. I want to be the master of myself.
I knew going into this, it was going to be tough. I have a lot of unsuccessful habits. While I have become a little better at managing them, I have not taken them down. I have moments, hours and days of weakness. There are more times than I would like to admit that I want to give up, but something always grounds me and tells me to look ahead. Even on the days that I eat nothing but sugar.
In my near future, I can be that warrior. I want to be a warrior.
***
Quote of the day: A warrior lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking about what he will think when he has finished acting. - Carlos Castaneda
Kempo today was FUN!
What I ate:
Fiber one cereal with milk
Shake
Apple
Orange
Grilled cheese
100 calorie doritos
Lasagna
SALAD
A roll
Watermelon
Much love
-K
You must battle your own tendencies. If they are not habits that lead to success, take them down. Do this even when it's difficult. That's the mark of a warrior.
I liked this so much that I cut it out, laminated it and put it in my wallet. I had forgotten about it until I came across it today.
A warrior. That is what I want to be.
Unfortunately, I am my own worst enemy. I want to battle all of my unsuccessful habits. Take them down. I want to be successful at managing my weight. I want to be successful at looking good, even better- feeling good. I want to be the master of myself.
I knew going into this, it was going to be tough. I have a lot of unsuccessful habits. While I have become a little better at managing them, I have not taken them down. I have moments, hours and days of weakness. There are more times than I would like to admit that I want to give up, but something always grounds me and tells me to look ahead. Even on the days that I eat nothing but sugar.
In my near future, I can be that warrior. I want to be a warrior.
***
Quote of the day: A warrior lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking about what he will think when he has finished acting. - Carlos Castaneda
Kempo today was FUN!
What I ate:
Fiber one cereal with milk
Shake
Apple
Orange
Grilled cheese
100 calorie doritos
Lasagna
SALAD
A roll
Watermelon
Much love
-K
Monday, July 5, 2010
Kool and the Gang said it best...
Today was one of the best days I have had in a while. I got to spend the day with two of my very best friends, who are very conscious of my own health, and just veg out.
Despite the good times had today I woke up in a funk. One of those "uhg, do I have to get out of bed today" kind of funks.
I blame the heat.
Something about these 95 degree days that just makes me feel blech.
This whole week is going to be hot, so I gotta find a way to endure it and all its tempting bad habits that can come from heat. Like: Ice cream, not exercising (both of which happened today) eating junk food.
Shout out today goes to my 2 lady friends for being aware of my changes and not encouraging bad choices, thanks!
Quote of the day: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
What I ate today:
Cheerios
Milk
Apples
Bruchetta Sandwich
Fruit Salad
Chex Mix
Small Chocolate Ice Cream
Grilled Cheese
Grapes
So not the best, but considering my past, could have been a lot worse.
Bring on the heat!
-K
Despite the good times had today I woke up in a funk. One of those "uhg, do I have to get out of bed today" kind of funks.
I blame the heat.
Something about these 95 degree days that just makes me feel blech.
This whole week is going to be hot, so I gotta find a way to endure it and all its tempting bad habits that can come from heat. Like: Ice cream, not exercising (both of which happened today) eating junk food.
Shout out today goes to my 2 lady friends for being aware of my changes and not encouraging bad choices, thanks!
Quote of the day: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
What I ate today:
Cheerios
Milk
Apples
Bruchetta Sandwich
Fruit Salad
Chex Mix
Small Chocolate Ice Cream
Grilled Cheese
Grapes
So not the best, but considering my past, could have been a lot worse.
Bring on the heat!
-K
Sunday, July 4, 2010
All you can eat
Happy 4th of July!
Today I celebrated. I told myself that I would eat well, but what I wanted to eat. I feel okay about it too.
Today I ate cheerios with milk, half a delicious turkey burger and a hot dog, some chips, potato salad, salad, corn on the cob, some cake, coffee, a handful of coconut m&m's, watermelon and some grapes. While I did not "eat well" I kept track of it all.
My plan for this week is to maintain. I have a 21st birthday to celebrate this weekend, and realistically, I know that to think I can lose would not make me feel good when I don't next Sunday.
Today was weigh in day: 163 (by some act of God I lost a pound) down 7 pounds.
It was also Yoga day. Phew.
Back on course tomorrow!
Shout out to America!
Quote of the day: There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
Love!
-K
Today I celebrated. I told myself that I would eat well, but what I wanted to eat. I feel okay about it too.
Today I ate cheerios with milk, half a delicious turkey burger and a hot dog, some chips, potato salad, salad, corn on the cob, some cake, coffee, a handful of coconut m&m's, watermelon and some grapes. While I did not "eat well" I kept track of it all.
My plan for this week is to maintain. I have a 21st birthday to celebrate this weekend, and realistically, I know that to think I can lose would not make me feel good when I don't next Sunday.
Today was weigh in day: 163 (by some act of God I lost a pound) down 7 pounds.
It was also Yoga day. Phew.
Back on course tomorrow!
Shout out to America!
Quote of the day: There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
Love!
-K
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Frustration
I have been pretty frustrated with myself the last few days.
As per usual, I have been lackadaisical with the tracking of my food. This is a skill,for some reason, I just can not get myself into. I think part of me is resistant to tracking because I don't want to have to track for the rest of my life, but then again, I will never master my food intake if I am not conscious of it.
I have definitely been making much better food choices since I began this change, but I know that I can do better.
This week (as predicted) has been challenging. I have had many out of the house food challenges and cravings up the wazoo. AND I still have three parties to attend. BUT I am taking this as an opportunity (and not a challenge) to make good/better choices, to keep track of everything and to be on my game.
I am pretty frustrated with myself this week. But I don't want this to be the thing that will make me sabotage myself. In the words of ADIDAS I need to "Just do it" because -really- the only person I am letting down is myself.
A friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday asking how I keep track of my food. Usually I write it down at night. But I also carry a mini notebook to write down all my food choices throughout the day. This week that fell by the wayside, but starting today I will get back on track (ha).
Sparkpeople also has a free food tracker (you can download it to your smart phone) which keeps track of calories, fiber, protein, fat and sodium (among other things if you choose to track them). This seems to be pretty helpful as well.
*
I am writing early today because we have a party to go to at 1. And since I am not cooking I can not say what I will eat today, but I am promising this: I will make good choices. I will eat the fruit (that I am bringing) and the veggies, I will eat a turkey burger instead of beef (or a hot dog for that matter - unless they are 97% fat free) and I am staying away from alcohol. Plus when its 95 degrees outside, who wants to drink anything other than water?
I did my workout this morning. Arms and shoulders (thank you Tony).
*
For the inquiring minds (and I appreciate the urges)- I did not blog yesterday because it was one of those no time, got a million and ten things to do, emergency work call, got home late - kind of days. I did not make the best food choices because I was "gone" from 8am to about 1030pm. But this is why I like new days. I get to start over.
*
Quote of the day: “Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there” -unknown
Shout out to Dori. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! and thanks for all the support you have given me!
Love
-K
As per usual, I have been lackadaisical with the tracking of my food. This is a skill,for some reason, I just can not get myself into. I think part of me is resistant to tracking because I don't want to have to track for the rest of my life, but then again, I will never master my food intake if I am not conscious of it.
I have definitely been making much better food choices since I began this change, but I know that I can do better.
This week (as predicted) has been challenging. I have had many out of the house food challenges and cravings up the wazoo. AND I still have three parties to attend. BUT I am taking this as an opportunity (and not a challenge) to make good/better choices, to keep track of everything and to be on my game.
I am pretty frustrated with myself this week. But I don't want this to be the thing that will make me sabotage myself. In the words of ADIDAS I need to "Just do it" because -really- the only person I am letting down is myself.
A friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday asking how I keep track of my food. Usually I write it down at night. But I also carry a mini notebook to write down all my food choices throughout the day. This week that fell by the wayside, but starting today I will get back on track (ha).
Sparkpeople also has a free food tracker (you can download it to your smart phone) which keeps track of calories, fiber, protein, fat and sodium (among other things if you choose to track them). This seems to be pretty helpful as well.
*
I am writing early today because we have a party to go to at 1. And since I am not cooking I can not say what I will eat today, but I am promising this: I will make good choices. I will eat the fruit (that I am bringing) and the veggies, I will eat a turkey burger instead of beef (or a hot dog for that matter - unless they are 97% fat free) and I am staying away from alcohol. Plus when its 95 degrees outside, who wants to drink anything other than water?
I did my workout this morning. Arms and shoulders (thank you Tony).
*
For the inquiring minds (and I appreciate the urges)- I did not blog yesterday because it was one of those no time, got a million and ten things to do, emergency work call, got home late - kind of days. I did not make the best food choices because I was "gone" from 8am to about 1030pm. But this is why I like new days. I get to start over.
*
Quote of the day: “Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there” -unknown
Shout out to Dori. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! and thanks for all the support you have given me!
Love
-K
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Mmm Pizza
Today was a fun day.
Got my hair did. Got a glue gun. Saw a friend. Ate some Pizza.
Knowing that I wanted some delicious Pizza I saved some room for it.
One of the best things about my friends is their willingness to listen to all my issues and support all my new habits. For that I love you guys.
Since I am using a borrowed computer, and about to watch the Mr. Fox movie today will be short.
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Cantaloupe
100 Calorie Bagel
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Orange
Salad
Pizza
A few bites of some chocolate cake
Diet Pepsi
Yum!
-K
Got my hair did. Got a glue gun. Saw a friend. Ate some Pizza.
Knowing that I wanted some delicious Pizza I saved some room for it.
One of the best things about my friends is their willingness to listen to all my issues and support all my new habits. For that I love you guys.
Since I am using a borrowed computer, and about to watch the Mr. Fox movie today will be short.
What I ate today:
Protein Shake
Cantaloupe
100 Calorie Bagel
Turkey Sandwich
Carrots
Orange
Salad
Pizza
A few bites of some chocolate cake
Diet Pepsi
Yum!
-K
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