160! Down 10 pounds! Yesssss!!
One of the coolest parts so far? I actually, for the first time in my life, have the resemblance of a muscle. COOL.
*
I am planning for our weekend. Since we are staying at a friends lake house I will be able to control a majority of what goes into my body. Tom just cut up a huge watermelon that I plan on bringing, along with some cantaloupe and fat free hot dogs.
And I plan on swimming and kayaking. I love to kayak or canoe, it's so fun!
Okay, we are out of here.
Catch ya on the flip side!
-K
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
That is my little black bikini. You know, the one that I swore I would have the guts to wear in public by the end of the summer.
I realized today that I have one month left to get my ass to the pool wearing that thing. Then I got an e-mail from sparkpeople.com with an article written by a woman who is morbidly obese and does aquatic classes for exercise. She wrote that she often gets asked how she could possibly be comfortable wearing a bathing suit with her body. Her answer was: No one cares. She isn't even on other peoples radar.
Naturally, I started to think about all the people that I have seen at the beach or the pool. I know for a fact that I have definitely "eyed" people on the beach, took in their size and shape. I can not remember a single image or person or body size...there is no one that has stuck to my brain. Not a fat person, not a skinny person and not even a "regular" sized person.
I tend to make assumptions that most people have similar thought processes to me. I am pretty regular. I make my judgments and move on. At the end of the day I don't care about any of those people that I saw at the beach. So why would I assume that any of them give a crap about me and what I look like? Sure they will make their snap judgments, but they will forget about me in 5 minutes.
No one cares.
Sometime very soon I will be strutting all my stuff (wobbly bits and all) down at the pool in my little black bikini.
This is a shirt that I have had for four years. It's also how I feel today.
This is Sasha modeling one of my hair clip creations. She is a gorgeous model.Today I got a message with regards to my previous post. It was awesome. I plan on sharing it very soon.
Tom and I are going to New Hampshire this weekend, which means that I probably won't be blogging for a few days.
Love!
-K
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I can relate
One of the (many) good things about my sisters is that I can wear my heart on my sleeve without feeling like I will be judged (or that it will cause an issue). This often leads to some quality discussions and a lot of I can relate to that!
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
After settling in, my older sister and I began talking about many life related topics. One of them being a previous blog in which I was asking the non-supportive persons to keep their opinions to themselves.
We started talking about how we both know people that can't keep their negative thoughts/opinions to themselves - not only with regards to our diets but our whole lifestyles. Hmm...How true! Most of the people who I think of as diet saboteurs are the same people that judge my lifestyle choices as well. Initially, I was irritated at the thought, but then - really - how sad is it that some people will never learn to be accepting. That somewhere in them they have the need to judge and put others down. Sad.
*Through another one of our weekend discussions we got onto the topic of tolerance (which was not related to saboteurs, but after giving it some thought was extremely helpful to my understanding of the saboteurs).*
The way I am breaking these type of people down is like this: it's kind of like the people who are going to try to sabotage (or put another down simply because they are jealous, or they "can't relate" or they just feel the need to be negative) are intolerant people. Intolerant people - who will probably always be intolerant, and will always have the need to put others down because they don't agree with their life choices or because other people are not the same as them. To me that is just sad, and I (almost) feel sorry for those people.
This obviously is my opinion. For me, this is how I need to view these people so that I can forget their negativity and focus more on the positive and getting myself to where I want to be.
So the next thing I need to work on is advocating more for myself with the people who I care about, and to remember that the saboteurs not only have issues of their own that they need to work on but their negativity is probably not about me, its about them.
Today is Scuba test day-yikes!
Got some grocery shopping done with many good choices and some YUMMY watermelon.
This quote just strikes a chord with my topic of the day:
"Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future." - Hitler (yeah I know it's a little dramatic, but it makes my point)
xo
-K
Monday, July 26, 2010
Savor the flavor
I had a fabulous weekend!
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
One of the good things about this lifestyle change is that now I appreciate food a whole lot more. I ate a lot of interesting and delicious food this past weekend. Even the food that I would normally never seek out (I will get to that in a minute) I found enjoyment in eating it. I have -somehow- learned how to savor the flavor. It was almost intoxicating how much I enjoyed my food.
So this entry is going to be about the food I ate, enjoyed and do not feel guilty about any of it.
As my previous entry stated we ate some Soul food. I have never had real soul food before and oh. my. god. it was a-mazing. The ribs, the chicken, the green beans, and the mac and cheese - holy crap the mac and cheese was to die for, really.
I also had my first Dim Sum experience. I can't say that I will ever seek out Dim Sum on my own, but [most of] what I ate was yummy. It was delicious even despite the fact that the chef insisted that I eat mini shrimp or pork in all of my dim sum items, I even ate duck.
I ate a grass fed burger. I don't eat a whole lot of beef anymore, but this was a fabulous burger. My brother in-law got some pork jowls... which he said was great, but I did not try those as I pig cheek is not appealing to me.
Then there was the Pizza. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for NY pizza. No pizza compares, and if I make a visit to NY without getting pizza...I come home slightly depressed.
The next two things were probably the best part of my entire long weekend.
We went to this Peruvian restaurant and (most of us) ordered half chickens. I don't think I have ever tasted chicken this good. It was moist and savory and juicy and I ate down to the bones. Not a single word was said throughout this dinner, that's how good this chicken was.
Then there were the cupcakes. I had discovered this cupcake place online that got stellar reviews AND it was only a few blocks away from my sisters apartment. They had three kinds of cupcakes that day: vanilla, chocolate and banana, but the best part is the icing. They have probably 30 different kinds of icing that you can put on the cupcakes, like vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, caramel, french chocolate, maple walnut, blueberry, strawberry...just to name a few. They were melt in your mouth delicious. In fact they were so good, we went back again that day.
This past weekend pretty much revolved around food. A weekend like this would have totally destroyed my diets in the past and in a few weeks from now I would have gained back all 9 pounds that I lost. Not this time. Starting today I got myself back on track and back to my workout regimen. While I did not weigh myself this week, I refuse to beat myself up over my foodie weekend. It was delicious and so worth it. And it was only three days. I have got so many more days ahead of me to let three days hold me back.
My trainer kicked my ass tonight and told me that he was proud of me (this is HUGE).
I ate relatively well, although my fruit and veggie count was a little low, but that's easily fixable.
Another good thing about this past weekend is that it gave me blog fodder for the next few days, but I will save all that for tomorrow.
Quote of the moment: "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Love,
-K
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Many thanks and a plea
Since I have started this blog I have received several e-mails, texts, phone calls etc. from friends and family and even people I do not have a "relationship" with telling me how inspired they have been by reading my blog.
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
I can not even begin to express how amazing and awesome and -being honest- ego-boosting it is to get that kind of feedback.
I have also had people talk to me about their own struggles with their weight, food relationships, and body image...before this blog, I don't think those conversations would have taken place.
However, with all the positive support and amazing conversations I have had due to this blog, I have had some un-supportive people "offer" negative and sabotaging feedback/comments. As well as I can handle constructive feedback and even manage hurtful words...there are times that the negativity gets to me and is difficult to manage. Especially when it comes from people who I thought would understand this whole journey (and oddly it has only come from people who I am closer to).
I do not write with hostility or anger. I write with a request.
Today I am asking those people who can not, for whatever reason, be supportive of me and the changes I am trying very hard to make to back off.
I do not judge you and your food decisions, your weight, or how you feel about yourself. I certainly do not put you down or sabotage your progress.
If you can not support me then keep your negativity to yourself.
I do not need your negativity seeping into the crevices that I am working very hard to seal with positivity.
I am not perfect, I have bad days and even bad weeks (this one not being an exception) but I love all the wonderful support and love I have received. The recipes, the suggestions, the questions and the support have helped me SO much and are a huge part of the reason that I have been this successful so far. The negativity, while it will not stop me, slows me down - so leave it in your own brain.
Several "challenges" to better your self esteem is to compliment others. Being nice/helpful to others often makes you feel better about yourself. Try it sometime.
Many thanks to all my wonderful friends and family for keeping me grounded, for giving me motivation, and supporting me. I am so grateful and I love you.
*
Anyway, this week has been rough for me. I have not slept well, I have been obnoxiously busy, and I am pretty sure mother nature has had something against me the past few days. Add this all up and it equals some poor choices and a not so great attitude (apologies to Tom for having to live with that). I will get back on track and I will be fine I just can't wait for this week to be over. Luckily it almost is. Phew.
Also...
To all my loves who have complained about my lack of attention to the blog (thank you for the push, its been needed this week) I am going to NYC to see my sisters -as it is often a rare occasion that we are all together- which means that I will probably be MIA for a few days.
Lots-o-love
-K
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wordless
I wish I could write everyday. While I am often busy, its usually not because I don't have the 20 minutes to blog. Often, when I don't write it's because I don't know what to say. I don't write because little left me feeling inspired by the end of the day.
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
Yesterday, for example, I did a whole lot of nothing until 5:00. I literally woke up, did P90 cardio, watched TV and movies while sitting on the couch, went to training then went to Scuba class came home and went to bed. Not too much excitement or human interaction (which is usually where most of my inspiration comes from).
Today was much more eventful, but I am still struggling finding my words and/or inspiration.
Worked 8-6. I ate okay. Had some ice cream with a friend. Did my work out. Now I am here. Stuck.
The problem with self improvement is that those "light bulb" moments don't happen everyday. Sometimes I wish they did... but then I wouldn't get to experience this journey and I would not appreciate this 1, 2, 20 years from now - when I can say I made that change. Me.
But for now, I will stay here...in limbo. Content.
Catch you on the flip side,
-K
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