I am totally guilty of exactly this. A pal of mine posted this link on facebook and here I am now: writing in my blog at work. It spoke to me that much.
While I totally want to be "thin" and healthy I do NOT want to be what this article talks about.
I often worry about "borderline" eating disordered symptoms. I binge, I overexert myself, and I give up completely (which often means I eat two brownies for lunch). I have some food obsessions and often when I diet it can become pretty intense (Side note: this is, of course, all relative) which is concerning because that is NOT the type of inspiration I want to put off to other people.
I struggle with finding the balance. How do you do it?
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I'm coming back to the blog. This was one of the few things that kept me grounded over the summer.
I need to work out my food issues, my body image issues and my weight loss issues. I plan on using this tool for myself.
I think when I started this blog, I was doing it not only for me but for others approval as well. That needs to stop.
As much as I love and appreciate all of my friends and family who read this, I need to put myself ahead of your approval. It's not to sound mean or rude, but I think too many women seek out others approval, especially when it comes to our bodies.
With that being said, I would still love the support. The links and the articles and the kind words are all appreciated.
Also, I can garuntee that I will still be hurt by peoples judgements, but I will work on being mindful that it is THEIR issue and not mine. However, I can also garuntee that I will still be humbled by all of the love and support you have all shown me.
I will let you know what I have been up to in a near future post.
With love,
Kate
You and me and many other woman have the same problems. I've lost almost 25 now and a friend of mine has lost 20 and my sister in law 33 (or more by now) and we all talk about how we look in the mirror and don't see anything different. How ridiculous is that? Anyway, I'll be looking forward to reading your updates, I enjoy them, and I support you, but you do have to do this for yourself. BTW, you looked great in those apple pictures :)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I read the Marie Claire article and it highlights my favorite blog (okay 2nd favorite blog after this one, of course!). I think we all go through disordered eating patterns, and it's difficult to find that healthy balance.
ReplyDeleteWe always seek others approval. We were brought up comparing ourselves to other people, not just with body image but in school, sports, etc. We always try to be "better", but better is comparative. It's second nature, and it's one of the reasons I left facebook the first time. I didn't need to be comparing myself to other people, comparing my lives to theirs, seeing who has great jobs or great families, seeing who gained or lost weight, seeing if I was "better" than them. I look back on my behavior with guilt, but it was a hard habit to break.
I'm glad your back to the blog; I've missed it.
xoxo.
I'll let you know if I find it...lol. It's a constant struggle mostly, I think, because it doesn't come naturally to me. I know there are some people who can self-regulate but I'm not one of them. I've never felt like a normal person when I've been on a diet. I've always felt like a fat person who's dieting to try to become a thinner person--then I get fat again because I feel like I can't live with the way I have to eat to lose/maintain my weight. It's never been easy and I wish I could find that healthy balance we hear so much about. It's sometimes hard to know what the difference is between being conscious of your habits and being obsessive. Surely, you can't lose weight without being conscious of your eating and exercising habits but you're only setting yourself up for failure if there's no flexibility, including room for imperfection, in how you go about accomplishing your goals.
ReplyDeleteOn a funnier note, I was at my local wine shop this evening picking up a bottle when I overheard the shop assistants (who are all related) talking about their bodies. One of the older women in the family was grabbing her belly and saying that she had rolls of fat around her stomach. Her younger brother was rubbing his belly like buddha and telling his niece that she was going to end up looking like him if she kept eating the chocolate she was munching on. It really struck me as funny because, in the US, all three of these people would be considered quite normal looking. Before I could offer my thoughts, the guy turned to me and said (roughly translated), "We're a bunch of nice-looking fatties, but you've lost so much weight recently!" I thought about saying something to the effect that, yes I had but there's still quite a bit I'd like to lose, especially when I saw that they considered themselves fat. Instead, I said, "Yes, I have but I wasn't fat, I was robust!" which all three of them got a big kick out of and responded with a chorus of "yeahs!". It's been instructive to me living in Italy that people in some ways seem to be even more obsessive about weight (and much more likely to point out someone else's weight gain!) than Americans, but in other ways it almost seems like it's a healthier attitude because they talk about it more honestly to the point that it's actually considered affectionate to call someone a "fatty." I have to say, it felt pretty good to make a joke about my weight issues rather than focusing on the fact that I still feel like I have a reasonably long road ahead of me.