Honesty.
That is a true statement. Why is it that I have not shared that with other people? Because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Because when I say it I have to now back track my words to fill in the awkward silence. Because then I have to listen to your fake "no you aren't".
Shut the f up and don't trivialize my feelings.
Now its out there. The best part? I don't have to worry about your discomfort.
Just so you know: This wasn't geared towards any person in particular, and despite the tone I am not angry. I just don't understand. I don't understand why it became so taboo to talk about how we feel about ourselves - honestly. When did talking about our self esteem and our body image became such a hot topic that it makes people feel so uncomfortable?
I wish that we could just put it all out there. I think if we put it out there then we can actually do something about it. We can commiserate and then fix it.
So I am going to fix it, at least for myself.
*
Today I started a list of all of my negative self talk (there is a lot) and then I made some affirmations to counter them. Some thoughts were a little hard to counter but I am working on it.
Of course I am biased -given my profession- but affirmations work. Especially when you believe they are true or can and will come true.
Here comes the first thought that I wrote down:
Negative thought: I will fail.
My affirmation: I am strong and I can do this.
One day soon I will be able to look in the mirror see someone who looks good.
One day soon I will wake up and not try on 13 different things because they all make me feel fat.
One day soon I won't need to make a list of positive affirmations because a majority of my self talk will be positive.
I will do this, because I can.
Today's shout out goes to Jenn D as she inspired today's topic.
Quote of the day: Down 5 and still alive!!! You can do this woman! - a fabulous friend
What I ate:
Chex
Milk
Banana
Apple
Orange
Laughing Cow cheese
PB and J sandwich
Trader Joe's Popcorn
Carrots with Hummus
Pasta with tomato sauce
Watermelon
chocolate cheerios
Activity: 30 minutes on the bike and 60 crunches on the ball
Peace
-K
I feel you on this one, sister! There are parts of my body that I know will never be the way I want them to be and make me feel extremely self-conscious. I hate not being able to wear certain types of clothes because of bulges and other unpleasant sights. I know I'll never have a nice flat stomach without cellulite and I'll never be able to get rid of my stretch marks (or those damn marks under my arms!), both of which are partially because of the damage I've done from gaining so much weight. I don't think I'll ever really love some of my parts but I think we have to realize that sometimes we actually ARE our own worst critics. Most people probably don't even notice parts of our bodies that we hate, even if they drive us up the wall! Also, remember that no matter how bad you feel about your body, there is surely another person out there who would love to look like you! For example, although I've lost a decent amount of weight, you still weigh quite a bit less than me and I can't help but think to myself, "Damn, why can't I be down to 165 pounds? I've been at this for months!" even though you feel like you're just starting out.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you this morning when I walked into my office and someone brought in Dunkin Donut bagels for everyone--including my two favorites, multi-grain and onion. In the past, or on bad days, I'd grab a bagel asap. I'd tell you that the temptation of food gets easier as healthier eating habits go on. One thing I think that might be beneficial for you to post (or track which you may be already) is also what you are drinking each day along with eating. That might help when you look back during your journey. I recently got the new Jillian Michael's cook book, sooo excited. I will share any succesfull ones with you.
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